The 1 Card Solution

Gutten Tag, meinen Herren und Frauen, und meinen Frauleinen!
For the rest of you Undelings, good-day to you! I am, of course, the Center of the Universe, live and uncensored, direct from the Great Green Recliner, Killian's Irish Red in hand and the Vast Wide Screen giving me an unparalleled view of the galactic comings and goings of each and every one of you that matter to me. If you don't matter to me, you don't exist. Make yourself known and exist, minions!
Today's rant and rave will encompass a few different things, all rolled up into a simple solution: A National Identification Card System.
I know how so many of you out there are going to react, and depending on which side of the aisle your vote falls, your reaction will go. Either way, very few of you out there like the idea. But it is going to become a vital necessity very soon in this country, unless total chaos and utter collapse of our economy, identity, and soverenty is what you want.
For one, a single National Identification Card (NIC) would become an individual's driver's license, passport, birth certificate, donor card, social security card, bank card, hunting and/or fishing license, gun permit, and whatever else one would be licensed for. The card would be a plastic encased microchip encoded with a person's information, recoverable with only proper equipment designed only to recover select information. No single device (other than that at an issuing Government Facility) could recover all of the encoded information. This would, of course, be the primary security feature. Other security would include thumb-print activation, five-digit access codes, 3D photo of the card-holder, et.al.
Another feature of the NIC would be a color-code system whereby the key color of the card itself would be indicative of the holder. For example, the standard citizen NIC would be Blue. Students under 21 would be Yellow. Government Employees would be Blue/White striped. Military would be Green. Law Enforcement and Firemen would be Gold. Paroled fellons would be Red. Immigrants awaiting citizenship, student visa holders, and Guest Workers would be White with the flag of their home nation in the upper corner. Some examples.
Very little information would be written on the card itself. Only a person's name would really be required, although some verification code could be used in case of loss.
I think today's world is to the point were identifying who belongs and who doesn't is paramount to security. The benefits of an NIC outweigh any drawbacks. I know some will think it's a "Big Brother" thing, but this world is already there, and if you don't see it, you are blind! But "Big Brother" doesn't give a rat's ass about us little people. The more paranoid you are, the easier it is for them to control you. Think that over while you hide in your little dark corner of the basement, scared to enjoy the life God gave you. I pity you. But I digress.
The NIC would be an easy way to track the paroled felons, the visitors to our country, and get back in after taking a trip abroad. A single card to pay for goods, get a beer, board a plane, drive home from Windsor, sign up for softball, what ever it may be. Isn't technology suppose to make our life simpler and easier? I think this would do both!
Just a thought between gulps of great Irish Brew! Grosse Gut und Auf Wiedersehen!

9...8...7...Abort!...Abort!

All right, peons! It's time to play hardball.
For some time now a group of you idiots out there have been so selfish to think that you are the most important thing in this world. You think that what ever you want or do is okay and damn the consequences. As a result, you think you are so upitty that if you get pregnant you can just abort the baby whenever you want. Who gives a sh==t what the baby may or may not want, right? It doesn't have a say in the matter, right?
Momma knows best!
With the advances in science and genetics, today we can determine very soon in a pregnancy if a baby has problems. We can treat, or abort, based on tests, and make informed decisions. There are entirely too many people out there who want babies for any healthy baby to be aborted in this day and age.
But let us look just a few years into the future.
It won't be long before geneticists will be able to extract an example of a baby's genetic code and tell the parents with near certainty what the child will look like at various periods in its life. Hair and eye color are determined very quickly, as are height and build. But what about other things?
Scientists claim that mixing intelligent individual's DNA will result in smarter children. Okay, maybe...as long as they send them to good schools with good teachers, right? Some scientists out there on the fringes claim that religious belief, aggression and sexual orientation are genetically imprinted on us. Is this true? Can this be determined within the genetic code of a baby within the mother's womb?
Would a doctor someday say: "You're having a healthy baby boy, Mr. & Mrs. Seacrest. But I'm afraid it's going to be a flaming homosexual."
And the parents may even reply: "Oh my GOD! Abort! Abort! Abort!"
Yes! Legalized abortions in America may soon have a purpose after all!
Doctor: "Mr. and Mrs. Franken. It would seem your baby will grow up to be a bigoted liberal asshole, without a sense of humor I'm afraid."
The Parents: "Oh NOOOOO! Abort! Abort! Abort!"
Doctor: "Mrs. Cruise, your baby will be a handsome, intelligent, talented, scientologist."
Parent: "Christ, no! Abort! Abort! Abort!"
Yes! Soon, Doctors across the country will be able to determine whether or not a baby will be of sound moral character to be carried to full term. Parents will be able to know before hand if they will have to deal with "alternative lifestyles", and if they don't want to, Abort! Abort! Abort! The call will sound out loud and clear throughout the land! Cheers will rise as the cry rings out: Abort! Abort! Abort! The moral fiber of the Great United States will be strengthened from the very roots, and all because the leftist liberals insisted on such an immoral act be forced down America's throats.
As long as abortion is legal in this country, the future of this country is in the hands of the present. Who knows? Maybe the great minds of tomorrow have already been aborted. When Mary Jane aborted her baby last week, it might have been destined to grow up and solve HIV. Sharice's baby, aborted in 1980, would have discovered a super energy cell formula this year, eliminating oil consumption within ten years. Tough luck, huh? Yasmine's baby, a girl, wasn't wanted in '76, but would have been two years ago, as a running mate for Kerry. He might have even won the election with a Latino lawyer VP and brought peace to the Middle-East. But Yasmine had the right to kill a baby, just like so many of you. And what price is this world paying today because of that selfish "right" you demand?
I can think of thousands of people out there that should have been aborted, but were not. Most were born before it we legalized. Too bad, right? Of those of you born after, what if your mother told you that she almost aborted you? What would you think then? Would you think of your life differently? Would you cherish life? Would you care? If you support abortion, I doubt you care about anything except yourself anyway. Do you?
Don't blame the doctors or the women. Blame the Liberal Lobbyists and Politicians who don't give a rat's ass one way or another, as long as they get that fat check in their wallet. We are the peons in their upper-class world, people. They get their powers from us, and not the other way around. They live off of our taxes and do what ever they want without fear of punishment from us, the masses. They look down on us as if we were sh==t on their golden walkways. F==em all!
This has been the Center of the Universe.
If you don't like it, leave!

Let the Sun Shine In!

Hello again, my disgruntled minions.
It seems to me this whole issue of "Global Warming" is starting to get out of hand again. Scientists around the world are screaming that unless something is done NOW to save the environment, the days of mankind are numbered. Of course, the righteous around the world are screaming that unless something is done NOW to save man's eternal soul, the days of mankind are numbered. And the Vegans will soon be screaming that unless we all start eating only fruits and vegetables, the hideous bird-flu and mad-caw diseases will destroy us all! Oh, please, deliver us all from this foul place called Earth! Why have we been forsaken?
It must be France's fault.
For CENTURIES loonies have been pedicting the end of the world, in one form or the other. And yet, the world survives. Life continues. The strong species adapt and overcome the changes the Earth goes through. Volcanoes spit out more toxic gases in one hour of eruptions from one cone than ALL of mankind's noxious vehicles do in an entire year. That is a fact, dear Enviro-Nazis. And you know it. If we all gave up our cars, our SUV's, our jet airliners, our trains and trucks, our cruise ships, our coal plants and everything else that sends gases into the air, the greenhouse effect would still be with us!
The only way to stop the greenhouse effect is to eliminate the users of the pollutants! And the greatest users of these pollutants are the men and women who needlessly travel the world over promoting their entirely useless work: ACTORS and ENTERTAINERS!
Yes, my dear comrades! I am proposing nothing short of locking up and throwing away the key! These selfish, childish, pampered, limousine riding, muliple-car owning, jet-setting, globe-hopping, finger-pointing, holier-than-us royalty never shy away from a camera when it comes time to promote their multi-million dollar life-style. And then they find a convenient tax right-off in a cause that attacks us and our middle-class way of life. Would they ever give up their way of life? Never. But they sure back the politicians that want to force legislation down our throats and take away our rights and privileges!
But I digress...
Fact: The moon is slipping 1.5 inches further away from the Earth each year. This effects the tides, and the weather patterns, although meteorologists have not yet determined just how. In fact, meteorologists still haven't been able to predict the weather three days from today with any degree of accuracy. Yet, there are still those out there that scream at the tops of there lungs that man can change the weather. That is basically what they are saying, you know. We cannot figure out a tornado, get out of the way of a hurricane with five days notice, predict snow fall, get the day's temperatures right to within five degrees, and yet somehow we piddly little, insignificant humans are managing to disrupt the mammoth weather system of the very Earth itself. Uh, yeah. Right.
I don't think so.
The science is all wrong.
Mankind will adapt and overcome. The strongest species will adapt and overcome. Nature will find a way if it is meant to. It is not man's job on this Earth to disrupt nature's natural course. To protect species that are too week to survive is unnatural and harmful to the environment, and to the Earth herself. Why do you think the Earth is so screwed up now? It's because of Man's meddling in Nature's affairs! That's why!
Of course, "Global Warming" could also be a result of Earth drawing ever-so-slightly closer to the Sun each year. Ever thought of that? Could it be that all of these "Enviro-Nazi" scientists are actually covering up the fact that the Earth herself is slipping inwards towards the Sun and heating up this way? Could it be that no matter what we as a planet do, nothing is going to eliminate the simple fact that within 100 years the Earth will have drawn closer to the Sun and all life on the surface of the Earth will be impossible? Is this why such efforts are being put into the Great United States' space program even today, so that these scientists, and the men and women they choose, will be able to escape, while the rest of us will be left to roast here?
Think this little nugget over, my friends. Have these scientists who hold all the "facts" been telling us the truth, or convenient lies. I just wonder why the story about "Global Warming" seems to keep changing year after year. Never trust a scientist, a politician, or an actor. They are all born to manipulate their lines and tell you what you want to hear, all in order to get you to like them.
Be careful, my minions. Have a cold refreshment and sleep in peace.
I'll be watching them. It's my job. I'm the Center of the Universe, after all.

American Whips

Barnacles!
That's what I say to the Big 3 Auto Makers of the Great United States.
Every year the design teams of the world's automobile manufacturers roll out these fantastic creations at their auto shows for all the world to see, showing off what the future of the industry holds for us, the consumer. And yet, every year we get CRAP rolling into the showrooms that their paid lackeys try and pawn off on us as "the next stylish sensation".
My ass!
Let's take a look at the Big 3's flagships, shall we?
GM has the Chevy Monte Carlo/Impala line. This year's model is a reshaping of the same model style that has been around for the past few years. It doesn't look too bad, but could really do better.
Daimler/Chrysler has the Dodge Charger. This model is by far the baddest thing off of the showroom floor out of the Big 3's arsenal. It turns heads without a single upgrade.
Ford has the new Fusion. Oh...my...god! Are they sh==ting me? Is this the car they want Americans to buy? This thing sucks! It's a Fusion all right...a Fusion of snail slime and pig slop!
All in all, about 75% of the American made autos are CRAP! They look like CRAP, they run like CRAP, they can't be worked on by anyone without expensive special tools, and they are way too expensive considering they are CRAP!
If the Big 3 want to start selling cars and making a profit, maybe they should start listening to the people that want to buy their cars. Look at what the younger generation want on their "street-racers" and add that stuff to the options list. More colors, with a wide variety of graphics packages, would add to the unique quality buyers are looking for today. Maybe primered cars from the factory delivered to buyers looking to paint the cars themselves?
Another thing on the horizon is the ethanol-fueled engines. These engines being available as an option in nearly every model would greatly expand the appeal of the entire line. Many people don't want to be forced into a "green" car, or the stigma it carries.
Next, create body styles that are unique and impressive. Look at the Fusion. Does that thing even look modern? It looks like it belongs in the '80s. From Chrysler.
The Mustang looks good. The Charger looks good. The new Camaros are going to look good. The Magnum looks good. The Cadillac XLR looks good. The SSR's look good. The Corvettes look good. The Pontiac Solstice looks good. The Impalas and Monte Carlos look good.
But what else? The SUV's and trucks all look the same, and have for the last fifty years! The compact cars are clones of the Pintos and Chevettes of the '70's, damnnit! The small cars of today are the J-cars and K-cars of the '80's. No there is just about NOTHING new coming out of Detroit these days except excuses why they can't make ends meet! Maybe if they'd build something we'd be proud to drive down the street in we might just buy more than one car a decade! And maybe, just maybe, the American-Made car would shove the Japano-wagon and Euro-sportster back across the ponds. Until then, those "Buy American" stickers should be put away until there is something worth putting them on.
Live and uncensored, this has been the Center of the Universe, blogging from the Great Green Recliner in the middle of it all. I'll put in a good word for you. Cheers!

Stars & Stripes Forever

Greetings, My Fellow Americans. Be ye Red, Yellow, Black, Brown, or White, or a mixture thereof, if you were born here, you are an AMERICAN! If you applied for and received citizenship, you are an AMERICAN! We all are hyphenated in one way or another, be ye Irish-American, such as myself, English-American, as my wife, Mexican-American, or Greek-American, African-American or Native-American, Indian-American or Chinese-American, German-American or Russian-American, Brazilian-American or Japanese-American, Canadian-American or Dutch-American, Ukrainian-American or Scotch-American, Argentine-American or Tibetan-American. We are ALL AMERICANS under the same Red, White, and Blue, Stars & Striped Flag!
Now, I do have a proposition. The meaning of the colors of the Flag has long since been lost on the majority of Americans. I could look it up, but what's the point? Here's my idea. Let us give new meaning to the colors, something that We, the People, would never forget. A fresh, new National Emblem, the Flag, would give all America a boost in these troubled, divided times. I think it's time to mend some fences, get our backyard in order (while keeping an eye on those cockroach terrorists!) and show the world how it's done! They all gripe about the US policies, and yet they seem to all want to come over here and live. What's up with that? My guess is that their nations suck!
Back to my New Flag Idea:
RED: would represent the nomadic Native peoples of this North American continent, including the Hispanic populations, that inhabited the lands long before a Free America was even a dream.
WHITE: would represent the European peoples that traveled to and settled the Eastern coast of North America, before driving across the continent in search of individual hopes, dreams, and lives.
These two Colors as Stripes: representing the battles waged over decades for the land until peace was finally forged.
BLACK: replacing the field of Blue, a Field of Black would represent the fields the Africans were brought over and forced to work, and then freed from, to live in America with hope they would never have dreamed of before.
YELLOW: replacing White stars, 50 Yellow Stars would represent the roll the Asian immigrants to America have had in influencing our culture, making it unique in every way from our individual roots.
I believe that with a National Flag such as this, representing all of the peoples of our Homeland through the very basics of Color, would instill a pride in Nation no other National Emblem could, or ever has in the history of man, for this would truly be OUR Nation displayed at the top of every flagpole, every man, woman, and child of every race displayed for all the world to see!
I hope all of you out there can see what I see in this idea of mine. Change can be good, when done for the right reasons. Maybe now this country is ready for a little change to make a big statement. Not only to the world, but for ourselves.

Battlefield:South Park

Proselytes! Zealots! Partisans! I call upon you this day, for the evils of Hollywood have once again risen to attack our poor animated friends. As the Center of the Universe, I have a fondness for these defenseless individuals, for as God created man, man has created the animated. And under the guise of religion the poor children of South Park, Colorado have been attacked, and their dear mentor Chef has been killed before their very eyes.
This needless attack is the result of pettiness. For the last century, Hollywood has made films poking fun at every walk of life, at every form of mankind, every race, religion, and nuance of this world. The movies are full of it, and awards have been given throughout history for it. Films hyping gays, murderers, racists, what-have-you, have all been lauded as triumphs of the craft. For years these kids have had dozens of Jew jokes every episode, attacked just about everything and everyone on this planet, including the Muslims, and yet as soon as this mindless, insignificant little cartoon pokes fun at the fake-religion-cult that Hollywood had adopted as its own, OH MY GOD! all hell breaks loose and the sh==t hits the fan. Superstars run crying to big-wigs, has-beens quit, and head-lines are made. The next thing you know, Trey and Matt knock out a spoof of the whole situation in less than a week and thumb their noses at the lot of them. And if you think that's all that's going to happen, just wait. It's not over yet! The war just begun. Darth Chef is going to kick Tom Skycruiser's ass, I can see that coming already! Not to mention Obi-John Travolta and the entire Scientorebellion! The South Park Empire will not be defeated, young Skycruiser! Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Er, ah, excuse me. I sort of lost myself there for a moment. Got a little carried away there. Anyway, these Holy-Wood Wackos that have hooked up with Scientology, hey, that's all fine and dandy with me. What ever floats their boat, you know. But when they start getting hypocritical about it, that's when it crosses the line. When they make millions from criticizing or poking fun at others, they had better be able to take it. They are actors, aren't they? Can't they act like it doesn't bother them? I guess they aren't that good after all.
Because of this I have had to push back a couple of much more important commentaries. Once again, Hollywood has interfered where they are not wanted, or needed. I just wish they would do their jobs, which is to play-act, and stay out of politics and religion. Leave that to the experts.
So sayeth the Center of the Universe!

Boob Tube Blues

Hello again, 'Droids. For the past few days I have been cruising the blogosphere from my Great Green Recliner, sipping a cold Killian's Irish Red, while keeping an eye on the Vast Wide-Screen that Sees-All. I have found that about a quarter of the blogsights out there are recipe sights. Fascinating, but not interesting. In fact, I have only found two interesting sights at all in the past twelve hours, and the one written by Dr.John got me started onto this monoblogue.
In today's America we have access to many, many television channels. In some places as many as 250! From standard broad-cast, to cable, to digital, to satellite TV, we have so much to choose from you would think we would never be at a loss to find something worth watching. And yet night after night I, like so many others out there in America, find myself channel surfing for hours on end, until I'm so tired I just go to bed, having not watched more than 5-10 seconds of any show at a time!
Let me list for you the only TV shows I have spent any time watching this season.
King of Queens (CBS). According to Jim (ABC). Lost (ABC). CSI:NY (CBS). CSI:LV (CBS). My Name is Earl (NBC). Monk (USA). Law & Order:Criminal Intent (NBC).
That's it! Otherwise I'm watching auto racing, L&O:CI reruns on USA, the History Channel, MythBusters on Discovery, the Food Network, or SpongeBob with the boys.
There just aren't very many quality programs on TV any more, and this trend has been going on for more than a decade now. Hollywood has just gotten so lazy that they believe that any old crap they recycle and throw out will be eaten up by the consumer. When, I ask, is the last time something new and creative came onto our TV screens? I'll tell you. My Name is Earl! And before that? Lost! And 24! What else? I'm hard pressed to think of any more this past decade. That's why so many of their crap-shows vanish without a trace each and every season. They are all just copies of each other or of shows from the past. They recycle the same formula for the same genre over and over again. Cop-show, doctor-show, lawyer-show, family-sit-com, raunchy-sit-com. They actually believe that America cannot live without sit-coms and soap operas and crime dramas in our nightly lives.
Let's try it and find out! Banish all Fictional Programming!
What would America be like without Hollywood's crap on TV? I'm sure the void would be filled up by American Idol-like shows, Survivor;Antarctica, game shows, sports, news programs, educational programming, and of course the dreaded animated actors!(see my "Cereal Killers" posting) My God! How would these multi-millionaires make ends meet! They might have to sell off one or two of their vacation villas, a gas-guzzler Hummer they never drive, jewelry they never wear, or that record label! They might have to work a day job! Oh whooah is Sheeeeen!
You know, ratings aren't everything. Quality is. A damned good show will get ratings. A piss poor one won't. If everything on TV is piss poor, then nobody will watch anything, and maybe then books will begin to come back into vogue. Or at least books on the computer. Or maybe just the internet. Well, blogging is starting to take over as the means by which we communicate and receive our information. As long as it remains (relatively) accurate, people. Do a little research, okay?
If the big-wigs in Hollywood would spend a little more time in Middle America, asking We, The People what we'd like to see on our TV's, maybe they'd learn a little about Us as a Nation. There is more to the USofA than California, you know. Get creative! Fantasize! Take a chance! Make something worth watching! The same old same old just isn't good enough any more. Take it from me, the Center of the Universe, and my dear Companion: Dr.John;Esquire.

Stand Your Ground!

Bravo, my Champions! Your fearless bard, the Center of the Universe, bids you welcome!
Today I must call your attention to a grave concern that many of you out there in the Great United States may not understand. Did you know that in 29 states, you can be prosecuted if you DO NOT run from your attacker, give up your car to a jacker, give in to your rapist, hand over your wallet or purse, or in any way shape or form fight back with the criminal? Did you know that? You can be brought up on charges under the "duty-to-retreat" laws of these states. You can be sued by the guy who attacked you if you injured him protecting yourself in these states! These laws don't apply within your homes, thankfully, but you get the picture. You simply cannot protect yourself, your children, or your property, from the heathen scum running free among us.
Three states of the Union, Florida, South Dakota, and today, Indiana, now have laws allowing its citizens to use whatever means necessary to defend themselves, including deadly force. 15 other states are considering such laws. I for one consider this common sense! Self defense is a very basic right. If confronted, I can guarantee I'm going to fight, not flee. If someone tries to take or harm one of my children, well, God will be seeing them soon I can tell you that because I will not let them live!
There are so many pacifists in this country today. So many people who say we as a nation need to get out of Iraq. Too many have died. I have done a little research. Since 9/11, just under 3,000 American soldiers have died in the War on Terrorism. Since 9/11, just over 4,000 Americans have been murdered, raped, and molested by men who have been released from prison AFTER being "rehabilitated". Many of these victims have been innocent children. Many have yet to be recaptured and are still out in our midst, looking to strike again.
There are many politicians out there who don't believe that you have a right to protect yourself or your family, even within your own homes. They don't even want the police to actively search out the bad guys for fear of confrontations that might result in gunfights. The liberal mindset is that "every criminal can be rehabilitated into an important member of society". I say: No they can't! If they kill; execute them! If they rape; execute them! If they molest children; execute them! Because they will always do it again if given the chance! They always do! And any one who thinks differently, then let's make these felons live with them, in their homes, with their wives and children, for a year after their release. We've got plenty of defense lawyers and liberal politicos and Hollywood do-gooders out there
who would love to step up and prove they are right and everybody else is wrong.
Until then, I will protect myself and my family to the death if need be. Eventually, the bad-guys will start fearing everyone, never knowing just who might have a gun. Once they realize they are out-numbered by the good, law-abiding citizens of the Great United States, maybe they'll just fade into the woodwork like the cockroaches they are. We, the People, are getting a bit tired of these "gangstas" and are going to take the fight to them if they don't chill out.
You need to get out and take measures to protect yourself and your family. Do whatever you feel comfortable with to safeguard your home. Lock up your home at night, and your cars at all times. Go out with friends and family. Use common sense at all times. Don't make yourself a target or a victim. Fight back! Make them wish they had never got up that morning!
This has been the Center of the Universe commenting.

Full Auto Mk.I

Welcome, disciples! Today, a course in Full Auto Blogfare from yours truly,

the Center of the Universe!

+ These self-righteous communities that have banned the use of tobacco products within privately-owned businesses, restaurants, etc., and in the open air of public parks, sidewalks, and parking lots, should be forced to relieve these consumers of the taxes imposed on them. If they can't partake of the product in public, why should the community reap the rewards of their purchases?

+ George Clooney got it right when he said the Democrats don't stand up for what they believe in. Hillary doesn't have the balls to run this Great United States. He might, though.
+ Is it me, or have the Liberals really gone off the deep end with their program to teach Kindergarteners about HIV/AIDS? Let me see, is the teacher going to say: "Okay, Little Suzy and Little Tommy. I want you to come up in front of the class and show the class how you can get the HIV virus from oral sex. Now start giving Little Tommy a blow-job, Little Suzy..."
+ Time to weed out the Hypocrites: States with the Death penalty can have Abortions, States without the Death penalty cannot have Abortions.
+ Judges that let murderers, rapists, and child molesters out early and then commit these crimes again should be removed from the bench, disbarred, and brought up on charges of willfully endangering the community, along with the lawyers and doctors who claim these villains have been "rehabilitated".
+ If Congress had spent the money they spent "investigating" the Presidents and trying to impeach them over the past ten years on securing the ports and southern boarder, would 9/11 have happened at all and would national security still be a problem today?
+ People in this country illegally DO NOT have the same Constitutional rights as Citizens of the Great United States. The Constitution is for the People of the United States, not the people of other nations.
+ Hollywood rams its politico-view cinema down our throats at Awards time, preaching their holier-than-us attitudes, and yet they get rich when we spend our money on the same old sex-and-violence or raunchy-laugh-a-minute type stuff these hypocrites make every year. Are they Artists or Capitalists?
+ For those of you who were born Free, in the Great United States of America, just remember this: There are millions of people around the world wishing for the opportunity to come to this country, to live free of tyranny, of poverty, of hunger. You were born here and didn't have to do a DAMNED thing to get the rights you have. And yet you abuse them every day by flaunting them in the faces of the less fortunate people around the world. You bitch and moan when some of your tax dollars go to help the poor and needy, all the while scarfing down a steak and potatoes at an all-you-can-eat buffet. You liberals gripe when the Government doesn't do anything to help the downtrodden of the world, and then when the Marines go in to put down the dictator who's doing the trodding, you gripe about that! Why don't all of you just shut the F=Up and live your Lucky-Charmed lives! Any of you could have easily have been born in Ethiopia or Cambodia, Mongolia or Guatemala, Iraq or Latvia, had God wished it. Instead, you Lucked out and were Charmed. Think about that, you Peons, the next time you're out with your family or friends at the local McDonald's or Pizza Hut and the Government's Foreign Policy comes up for discussion. I doubt if any of you dumb-a==s could do a better job.

+ Ted Nugent vs. Al Franken: Now there is a reality TV-Show worth watching!

+ The 5 Hottest Babes on my list are:

1) Angelina 2) Halle 3) Salma 4) Brooke 5) Jessica.

+ God did not punish the Great United States with the 2005 hurricanes, and the devistation of Katrina. He reminded us of our Nation's greatest Virtue; that of Charity. When faced with the need, we gave as never before and we came through, as a Nation of People not as a Government, for those who needed it most.
So there you go, my disciples, a taste of Full Auto Blogfare! Do not try this at home. I am the Center of the Universe, a trained professional. Good Afternoon, and Good Luck.

It's All About Me

Hello, my subjects! Over the last year or so, I have served as the Center of the Universe. Many have found this as claim as vain or bravado, but I have seen it as an epiphany. I did not just wake up one morning and say "I want to be the Center of the Universe". No, my friends, I came to the sudden realization one afternoon at work that I WAS the Center of the Universe. That I had been, in fact, appointed as the Center of the Universe by the All Mighty Himself, to replace the previous holder of the position.
Before I get to far into why I was chosen, let me explain what exactly what BEING the Center of the Universe is. For those of you out there who aren't quite sure, this job has absolutely nothing to do with clairvoyance, clairaudiance, premonitions, etc. God does not give you any powers what-so-ever that you do not already have. It is not that kind of job. The Center of the Universe simply is being the Center of the Universe. Everything revolves around ME. I observe, I comment, and I occasional stir the pot. I look around and see everything and voice my opinion on it. If I don't see it, it does not exist. If I don't care about it, it isn't important enough to worry about in my Universe, so it isn't worthy of my opinion. If you are unknown to me, you are unknown to the Universe, so be it. Face it, bub, you are worthless! I sit here at the Center of the Universe (getting paid nothing by the way as there are no perks other than the title and hanging out with some of the biggest names in the History of Humanity) in my very comfy Great Green Recliner, observing the entire Universe on the Vast Wide Screen HDTV, and taking notes for my next commentary or looking up points of fact in the Encyclopedia Universalis. I rather enjoy this job He entrusted me with.
Now to explain why I was chosen. Recently, while knocking back a few pints of Stout with St.Patrick, St.Peter, and Mick Collins at the "Emerald Harp" up here, I asked St.Peter how a mere mortal such as myself comes to be chosen for such a position as the Center of the Universe. He turned the tables on me, as one of his stature is apt to do, and asked me to describe myself. I did.
I am of middle age, with many experiences and travels to my credit. I have fought in a war for the Great United States, serving 14 years for the government with much of that time over seas. I have seen Germany, both before and after the fall of the Berlin wall. I have skied the Alps, and repelled from helicopters. I have traveled to Alaska and Spain, France and Saudi Arabia, Canada and Kuwait. I have killed Iraqis and helped Iraqis. I have partied in Paris and fathered two boys. I enjoy reading mysteries, sci-fi, and war novels. I listen to many forms of music, from Classic Rock to the Classics. I love U2 and Bono's antics. Angelina Jolie is my #1 babe. George Clooney, my favorite actor. I believe in a Conservative Government and a Liberal Population. I play trumpet. I listen to Rush Limbaugh when I can. I believe everyone should be able to live as they want, as long as they hurt no one. I believe Freedom is not freedom from responsibility. I believe there is too much government, and too much religion. I believe God created man, and man created religion, and God does not belong to any religion. I love auto racing, especially Indy-Car and Formula One. I enjoy football, women's soccer, and curling. I love watching my boys play with their trains and Monster Trucks. I'm Irish-American through-and-through, and proud of it! I have a dog. I like M&M's and pizza. I enjoy Killian's Irish Red with steak, Bud Ice with sports. I dabble in writing stories. I draw nude women. I collect Irish Teddy Bears. My wife and I screw around whenever we get the mind to. I race go-karts when I get the chance. I'm a decent cook. I've only a high school education. I have an opinion on just about anything you could throw my way if I have heard about it before hand, and if not, then it must not matter in the first place!
And with all these traits, as vast a persona as I am, St.Peter explained that this is exactly the type of mortal the Center of the Universe is supposed to be. I can look at the Universe and see through all the BS that is flung out there by the politicos and spin-doctors and talking-heads and tell it like it is, without trying to get a vote or earn a rating or make a buck. That's me, folks! He simply smiled, downed his Guinness, and bid me Good-Night! He's good! No wonder he's a Saint!
And that is why I am the Center of the Universe and You are not. You people out there, I'm sorry to say, just aren't qualified for the job and could never cut it. Hell, most of you can't cut it in the real world the way it is, so what makes you think you could do this job? Get real! From what I know of the girl I replaced, she was special! I only hope to live up to her work. Then again, I am the Center of the Universe! Obviously, I'm the best out there! So until next time, my minions, Arrivederci!

The Fightin' Irish

Tally-Ho! With St.Patrick's Day nearly upon us, how could I not bring up the Great Fightin' Irish! And I'm not just talkin' about those gridiron giants out of the University of Notre Dame at South Bend, Indiana. I'm talkin' about all of the great Irish heroes, from Brian Boru who first fought the Scandinavian hordes, to the thousands of Irishmen who fought the Kings of England for independence. From the regiments of Irish-Americans who fought on both sides of the American Civil War, to the Irishmen who fought each other in their own civil war, and gained partial independence from Great Britain while fighting with England and America against Germany in WWI. The U.S. Army's 7th Cavalry uses the horseshoe as its emblem and the motto "Gerry Owen!", to commemorate its Irish-American roots. I had the honor to serve in, and fight for this historic unit for five years, and was one very proud Irish-American! The Tri-Color hung proudly within my M2A2 Bradley's armor. The Irish people have always been a bare-knuckles, brawling crowd, and have fought hard and fiercely for independence and respect throughout history.
Combat sports have been favorite of the Irish culture for centuries. Gaelic Football is the most popular team sport in Ireland, followed closely by Hurling. Gaelic Football is like a combination of soccer, rugby, and Aussie-rules Football. 15 players par side fight and brawl to get a soccer-like ball into a goal-net for a score. This battle-field, rough and tumble sport has been around since the 1500's. Hurling, a stick and ball field hockey-like team sport, has been around since the 1400's, and also pits teams of 15 against each other to fight to score points by batting the ball through the goal "H"-posts. Both sports draw blood, inflict bruises, break bones, and cause general mayhem in the crowd at times, such is the passion the Irish have for these home-grown sports. And after the final whistle, they shower up with Irish Spring, dress up, and the pubs for a pint and sing songs a tell tales of battles fought on the fields of pitch! All in a day's combat!
Here in the Great United States, we have teams that celebrate our Irish heritage, but they are a pitiful few. The most well known of all is the Golden Domers, The Fightin' Irish of Notre Dame. The most celebrated of all University gridiron teams. Of course, they field teams in all of the collegiate sports, with basketball, hockey, soccer, and baseball the most commanding. None, however, draw nearly the attention the football does at any time of the year, let along during the fall football season. Notre Dame Football is in a league of its own in this world.
Other Irish-themed teams in the U.S. are the Boston Celtics of the NBA and with their horseshoe helmets drawing on the Luck of the Irish, the Indianapolis Colts of the NFL. You would think, with the long history of Irishmen in baseball, that there would be a ball club with an Irish-related nick-name, and yet there isn't any.
Boxing is ingrained in every Irish lad who ever had a brother. From day one he was in training, fightin' over every little thing in the house, the yard, the barn...Bar brawls are nothing more than another training event for the Middle Weight bout! A good Irish fight usually ends up with everyone lying on the floor, bleeding and exhausted, laughing, and reaching for a fresh pint. That's how you know you've been in a good old Irish brawl!
Now that's not to say that all Irishmen (or women) are drunken brawlers. Typical stereotyping by the non-Irish masses. They'll get a busted lip if they don't watch their mouth. Even up here, things get out of hand once in a while. Mick Collins and King George V got into a row just last night in fact. Caught up in it was Alexander and his party, Stonewall Jackson, and the Headless Horseman, among others. It took quite a while, but finally the Earps and the Seven Samurai got things under control and cleared out. Unfortunately, the "Emerald Harp" pub was trashed. Arthur Guinness and the Leprechauns have their work cut out for them getting things ready for the St.Patrick's Day bash.
For me, it's time to kick back in the Great Green Recliner, grab a pint, and observe the goings-on out there in your world. After all, I am the Center of the Universe, and it's my job!

The Lucky Irish

Top o' the Maornin' to ya, me fellows! And a glourious day it t'is, by far! I've just had me Great Recliner here at the Center O' the Universe re-upholstered in Kelly Green, with a great Golden Shamrock embroidered on the back (real gold none the less!) and trimmed in navy blue. T'is a sight to see, I tell ya!
Today's little monoblogue shall venture into that realm of Luck, and how the Irish have benefited from it for so long. All of us have our own views on Luck, our own Lucky Numbers, Lucky Colors, etc. We have Lucky Trinkets of one form or another, from rabbit's feet to horseshoes, crosses to underwear. What-have-you. When Luck is talked about in a conversation, we all feel a tug of the Emerald Isle in the back of our minds. In some sense, we all think that the very root of all Luck in this world is buried deep in the Heart of Ireland. Hell, I know it is! St.Patrick told me so just the other day!
The Encyclopedia Universalis defines Luck as: Circumstances of life brought by chance, be they beneficial or not.
The Irish form of Luck, to be Lucky, is defined as follows: Good fortune resulting from good luck distinct from skill, merit, or design.
One of the most recognized forms of Irish Luck in the Great United States today comes in the form of Lucky Charms and its spokesman, Lucky the Leprechaun. Lucky has been pitching the fantastic cereal since 1963 and his motto "Frosted Lucky Charms, They're Magically Delicious!" is loved by generations of kids the country over. The original four Charms were Pink Hearts, Yellow Moons, Orange Stars, and Green Clovers. Now, not to be critical of the most famous Leprechaun in the world, but let us examine these original choices. I understand the Clover as a Lucky Charm. Wishing upon a Star, I can see that. Moons and Hearts? I don't see the Luck in those, I'm sorry, Lucky. Now, over the years, he has added to and taken away from his line-up of Charms. In 1975, Blue Diamonds were added. In 1984, Purple Horseshoes were added. Then in 1989, Red balloons came along. Of these three additions in, only the Horseshoes really had anything to do with Luck, or Ireland, at all as far as I could tell. In 1992, Rainbows were added. Now, I hope this had nothing to do with any sort of "Rainbow coalition" or "Gay Pride" thing. With the Pot O' Gold added in 1994, these two teamed up to form the basis of finding the Leprechaun's stash of wealth. Okay, I got that one. They ditched the Diamonds in favor of changing the Moons to Blue, which had been dropped earlier. In 1996, the Shamrocks were changed to Green Leprechaun Hats, and in 1998, the Shooting Stars replaced the plain Stars. Of the current line-up, the Horseshoe, the Hat, the Pot, the Rainbow, the Star, the Moon, the Heart, and the Balloon, I still have no idea what the last three have to do with Luck, or Ireland.
I do have a few suggestions for replacements. The Celtic Cross is a natural, as Ireland is the homeland of this emblem. The Harp, found on the battle flags of ancient Ireland. An Emerald, embodiment of the land's nick-name of Emerald Isle. A Pint of Beer, as seen in the hands of all during joyous conversation. A Policeman's Badge, emblematic of the job so much of Irish-America's roots are embedded. And what of the Number 7? How many people think of this as their personal Lucky Number? The number 7 seems to have taken on a life of its own when it comes to being Lucky. After all, the dice game of Craps is based on this number and the odds of it coming up at any time. The again, there are those pesky 7 Deadly Sins. Not so Lucky there after all.
Finding a four-leaf clover is considered Lucky, as is spotting a shooting star. Having a squirrel cross your path is Good Luck. Carrying a rabbit's foot and knocking on wood are considered Luck bringers. I don't know about any of these superstitions. How many times has a race car with #7 on it lost the race? You'd think it would win every time out if 7 was Lucky, right? And rabbits get eaten by foxes all the time. Not so Lucky there. And I've seen squirrel road-kill, so would that be bad-luck?
Luck is what we make of our good fortune, in hind-sight. We can never predict Luck, or see it coming, otherwise it would not be Luck. The Leprechaun's of Ireland are the sole holders of the power of Luck, be it for Good or Bad, and dish it out haphazardly as they may. God gave them this ability long ago to preserve their way of life, deep within the heart of the Emerald Isle. Every so often a few like to get out and cause a wee bit o' mischief about the world, just to keep us on our toes. God gets a laugh at their antics and our mortal responses to the illogical, unpredictable things that happened, and how far we'll go to satisfy ourselves that Luck had nothing to do with it what-so-ever! Blarney!
Well, me old sods and colleens, the band's striking up and the tap's flowing at the "Emerald Harp". Time has come for the Center O' the Universe to be signing off. Slainte!

The Proud Irish

Dai duit, mo cara! The Center of the Universe here, my friends, and I am a Proud Irish-American! I am one of 34 million Irish descendants here in the Great United States, the fourth largest ethnic group in the country behind the German-Americans at 38 millions, and the Hispanic-Americans and African-Americans at 35 millions. There are only 4 million Irish in all of Ireland today. This time of year is the time when all of us become just that much more Irish, as St.Patrick's Day is on the horizon once again!
A brief history of St.Patrick's Day. Patrick, a born Englishman, was taken from his home by Irish raiders around the year 400 A.D. to Ireland at the age of 16. He was held prisoner in County Mayo and forced to work the fields as a shepherd. During his long days he began to devote his life more to Christ and dream of converting the Irish to Christianity. After more than six years of captivity, he received a vision of God telling him it was time to leave Ireland. Patrick escaped and walked the nearly 200 miles to the Irish coast, where he managed to secure passage to England. Once home, God again spoke to him, telling him to make himself ready to return to Ireland with the Word of God as his shield. 15 years of study later, Patrick was ordained a priest and returned to Ireland with a duel mission. He ministered the Word to the Christians already in Ireland as well as converted the pagan Irish to Christianity. Patrick created the familiar Celtic Cross, combining the Christian Cross with the Irish sun symbol, in order to help ease the common Irishman into the Faith. For all of his celebrity, Patrick's life remains somewhat a mystery. Many stories associated to the patron Saint of Ireland, including driving all of the snakes from the island, are false. St.Patrick died on March 17th, 460 A.D., and Irish soldiers serving in the English military first observed this celebration as an Irish Holiday in America in New York City in 1762. Today, St.Patrick's Day is celebrated in all English-speaking countries, and most Western countries, as well as many other nations around the world.
The Proud Irish of fame include Actors Aidan Quinn, Liam Neeson, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Farrell, and Roma Downey. Authors of reknown include James Joyce, W.B. Yeats, and Oscar Wilde. Irish musicians include the Cranberries, Van Morrison, Enya, and that world famous rock band known as U2. Guinness Extra Stout beer. The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. Riverdance. Lucky the leprechaun. Shamrocks. Michael Collins and the IRA. Shillelaghs. So much Irishness in the world rooted in such a small island.
Did ya know?...The Irish Shamrock, or three-leaf clover, is thought to have been used by St.Patrick to illustrate the Christian doctrine of the Trinity?
St.Patrick's Day is a celebration of being Irish. It is a celebration of living life to its fullest. Life has been hard for the Irish for thousands of years, and this holiday celebrates that inherent survivability that all Irishmen and Irishwomen have at their very green cores. Their Irish-broagh may fade away through the generations, but the Irish pride never does. Fights break out over religion, politics, sports, women, and even beers, but we are still the prideful Irish, and will have each other's back if need be.
Ireland has some of the best beers in the world. Leading the way is Guinness Extra Stout, of course. Guinness Draught, Harp Lager, Smithwick's, and Macardle's are also Guinness brands. Murphy's brewery makes Irish Stout and Irish Red. Beckett's Gold and 1798 Revolution are other popular national brands. And then there are many dozens of local pub brewers that you can only get within their own pubs. And there are hundreds of Irish-American beers here, like Killian's Irish Red, for us to taste a bit of the home brew.
This will be my first St.Patrick's Day as the Center of the Universe, but from what I've heard, God enjoys the Holiday as much as the next guy. Arthur Guinness will be serving up his original brew at the bar, and with St.Patrick lining up some of the best stews and desserts in the Galaxy, it's bound to be a party for the ages! The music will be outstanding I'm sure. Just one of the perks for being the Center of the Universe, my friends! And don't forget the wearing of the Green on Friday, the 17th of March! St.Patrick's Day! Otherwise, those tricky, cranky little leprechauns will sneak up on ye and pinch ya! Slan leat!

The Cereal Killers

Hola, Amigos! Que pasa? Well, have I got some news for those of you out there in the Great Galaxy of Governed Ignorance. What do you suppose Tony the Tiger, Lucky the Leprechan, Cap'n Crunch, the Honey Nut Bee, and Snap, Crackl', and Pop have in common? They are all targets of Cereal Killers! Yes, mi amigos, there are actually adults out there in North America who want to take all fun out of being a kid, and the first thing they want to do is kill off the animated characters of breakfast cereal. Now don't for one minute think these uptight control freaks will stop at that! No sir-ee! They are after Spongebob, Dora, and ALL of today's animated favorites that sell product on the side, in addition to the main-streamers such as Tweenkie the Kid, Toucan Sam, and the Keebler Elves.
These adults claim to have the health and welfare of children at heart, and yet they have absolutely no proof that by ridding the world of these "heathen" cartoon salesmen will our children stop begging for these goodies in the supermarkets. Most adults have learned to say and use the simple word "NO", whatever the language. I know, I have heard it shouted in many a Wal-Mart toy department over the years, as well as the cereal aisles of shopping centers. Then again, I doubt these "goody two-shoes do-gooders" even shop in a Wal-Mart, let alone know how to say "NO" to their pampered kinder.
Most of these aged women are bored broads looking for a "cause" to claim their own at their local tea-party, I'd bet. It would seem to me that it is not the product at all that is the issue. It may in fact be something entirely different altogether. Seeing as how it is in fact the animated actors that are the target here, maybe the reason for the attack is greed. Since an animated actor works for free, and a human does not, the Actor's Guild doesn't get any kick back. If the Hollywood Actor's Guild is in fact behind this attack, using the Liberal Left as its political patsy as usual, then by getting these innocent animated actors pushed aside would open the door for the "under-worked, under-paid" human actors of Hollywood. And since most of the animated actors are drawn in Korea, they are of course not unionized, whereas their Hollywood human competitors are. Of course, they would have to pay a portion into the Guild's funds. Typical union strong-arming, I'd say, as well as Liberal grandstanding. But what would you expect, truth in the issues? Yeah, right. Do you think Michael Moore would ever make an animated movie? I would doubt it. And is this going to be one of Hillary's running points in '08?
These "Activists" are out there, reguardless of there motives, attempting to take the fun out of our kids' lives. Children enjoy watching commercials with there favorite characters, and they don't really care what they're pitching. If a parent can say "NO" and stick to it,and has discipline within the family, then the children will not veg-out on them in public when they don't get their way. A balance must be obtained and maintained that gives children some of what they ask for, but not all. This way, they won't always through a fit when a parent says "NO". And those parents out there who can't say "NO" to there children, you are going to regret it when they become teen-agers! These kids are the ones that turn into the delinquents whose parents "never see it coming". All of you out there grew up with Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Lucky the Leprechan, and many others selling to you every Saturday morning, and you didn't end up insane or bleeding from the eyes or weighting 700 lbs. did you? If you did, well... Of course, you also may have went cuckoo and became an "Activist" looking for the next big thing to hook your pearls to and brag about at dinner parties while the hubby's away with his mistress in Washington, D.C. My heart bleeds for your loss.
Anyway, mi amigos, take care and pay attention to these wackos who want to change the little things. If you let them get away with it, soon they'll be after the things that may really matter and you won't be able to stop them.
This has been the Center of the Universe, from the Great Recliner in front of the Vast Wide-Screen HDTV that sees all in this Gorgeous Galaxy of ours and His.
Adios, mi Amigos!

96-Hours

Aloha, Dear Friends! For the past week I have been away from the Great Recliner at the Center of the Universe. I was administered a 96-hour in-patient test called a Video EEG. For those of you new to the Center of the Universe, or unfamiliar with my current medical state, let me briefly explain.
I have been diagnosed with Adult Onset Epilepsy, brought on by or uncovered through a recent blow to the head. The symptoms have included many partial seizures and have pretty much confined me to my home and limited my work. Of course, I am still fully capable of maintaining my role as the Center of the Universe, thanks to the support of my friends, co-workers, and the confidence of the Big Guy Himself.
To try and isolate and better understand, and thus better treat my gray-matter issues, I was hooked up to a VEEG monitoring unit for 96 hours. A brief description: A VEEG unit monitors your brains electrical functions as well as your cardiac activity, recording them as the familiar jagged lines we've all seen on the medical TV shows. The video portion of the unit is simply a camera that watches you every minute of that 96 hours. This is to give the doctors a visual record to go along with the data record and be better able to understand any seizures you may have during your stay. Further, once a day the tech came and had me hyperventilate, then fired a series of strobe lights into my closed eyes. Both tests are designed to stress my neurons and trigger "events" if possible.
All of the fascination of the equipment, however, rubs off very quickly when my life boiled down to ten feet of travel at the end of the cable attaching the 24 electrical leads to my scalp to the VEEG unit. The only bit of privacy I had in those four days was in the bathroom, and then I wondered how the electrical impulses were being displayed for everyone to read. And back in the room, I was limited to the uncomfortable bed, or the uncomfortable chair. All the while, I had to ensure that "Moe", as I had begun to call the VEEG after that first 24-hours, could see me. It began to get a little creepy when I wondered if I scratched my balls at night, or did anything else that may prove embarrassing for that ever-watching camera.
Outside of that, I managed to relax a little. I read two books, listened to the radio during the day and watched a little TV at night. I watched a pair a good movies; "Alexander" and "Kingdom of Heaven". I had a few visitors, including my dear wife and youngest son, my mother and brother, a friend, and my darling step-daughter. My wife did bring me a 12-pack of Cherry-Vanilla Dr.Pepper (the 2nd Greatest soda mankind has ever formulated, behind Mountain Dew, in my humble opinion, but that's another posting entirely!) that I managed to finish off in those 96 hours. But for the most part I was alone and bored. It made me long for a natural disaster or something truly Revelatious to take my mind off of things, you know?
Well, today I am home and things are back to normal. I have made a quick dash up to the Center of the Universe, where I belong, to post this and let you all know how things are going for me. And never fear because I have much on my mind to let you know about. My "Little Gray Cells" may be miss-firing on occasion, but they are always ready to rock and roll on full-auto when a topic grabs their attention. Until next time, Aloha!

The Worthless 99.997% of Us

My friends, a while back, before I was assigned this humble post in the Great Recliner at The Center of The Universe, my co-workers and I had a discussion concerning our worth to the company. I, ranting and raving of course, took it well beyond those simple comfines and began a monologue about how the vast majority of us will be utterly forgotten within 200 years, no matter what we have done with our lives. And now, as Galactic Observer and Universal Commentator, I have gathered a few facts and numbers to back this up. I now share them with you, my minions.
To begin with, let me set the scope. There are, give or take, 6.5 Billion persons on the Earth today. Of those, how many can any of you name right now? How many can you name that will be in the history books 200 years from now of any significance? A dozen? Thirty? Fifty would be stretching it. What percentage is that? Not very high. Can you name a hundred persons that currently are in the history book without opening a history book? Hard to do. Now back to the rest of us.
Everybody lives in their own little bubble of importance. They are very important to themselves and their family. Their importance may vary according to the ages of their children and the care they must give to others. This is the first level of importance in your world. The second level is a person's importance within their group of friends and co-workers, to include to their specific job. If their job is very dependant on that person's showing up every day, then they are very important. Whereas if a person isn't missed if they take a day or two off, then they aren't all that important. A person considered the motivator of the group is more important that the follower of the group. The third level of importance is how a person is viewed within their community where they live. For the majority of us, we are already practically invisible at this point in our worlds. This suits us fine and we could care less. Some of us, however, enjoy getting involved in our local politics and community welfare. These are our police chiefs, fire chiefs, sheriffs, and mayors.
The next level, the fourth, gets into a state or regional level. This level and higher is reserved almost exclusively for politicians, sports figures, media reporters, and entertainers, depending on their individual success. They are well know in their areas of success or skill, and may be a household name in to many. The fifth level becomes a national level, reguardless of the nation, and is very hard to achieve and maintain. Once here, where an entire nation knows and recognizes your name and face. At this level most people are as high as they can ever get. Fame and forture have been made. They may even make the record books in their chosen profession, if only for a short time. But most will be forgotten within a generation of their retirement.
The next level, the sixth, is to obtain world-wide fame. This is to become a major world political or religious leader, pop-star, actor or actress, sports hero, or international bad-guy. This level almost assures a place in the World's History Books if that person wants to get out and make history. Very few per generation make this level.
Over the millenium, there have been 43 U.S. Presidents, 300+/- Popes, 59 Monarchs of England, and 86 Emporers of Rome. That's 488 Major Historic World Leaders. Can any of you name 488 people in your life right now? The chances that any one of us, or anybody any one of us knows personally, will ever do anything noteworthy in history is so very remote as to not even be calculatable. Only 0.003% of the population of the Earth today will ever do anything that will advance mankind in any positive way, unless we consider procreation and mindless labor. 99.997% of us are but worker ants and army ants, toiling away to endlessly build up and protect the community for our future generations, who will in turn toil away to build for their future generations, who will in turn toil away to build for their future generations, who in turn will toil aaaaAAARRRGHHHH!!!!!
Okay, that's enough! We are only worth what we believe ourselves to be worth, no matter what others may think. Live for today, my minions! Forget about tomarrow. Have fun, eat what you want, go see a movie, ski down a mountain, take a cruise, do what ever you want to do (as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else) and live life to the fullest. It's your's to do with whatever you what. We are going to be the same worthless corpses 200 years from now no matter what we do today anyway. Leave a legacy or leave a pile of turds, it won't matter to the Earth's population 200 years from now, will it? It's up to you. Be worthless or try to leave something that might actually be worth something to somebody someday, and be remembered for it.
"Live Free and Prosper" my minions!

Saint Bono & Angelina the Fair

Warm regards, from the comfie recliner here at the Center of the Universe, from Yours Truly. This monoblogue shall touch on a pair of my favorite people in the world; Bono and Angelina.
I'll begin with the fair, gorgeous, talented, absolutely beautiful, and motherly Angelina. Her current condition, and pending marriage, has hampered somewhat her charitable works and limited her travels, I do not think it has in any way tempered her desires or ambitions to see more done to help the children of Southeast Asia, however. Her compassion is limitless in this area and by no means has she done this work to gain fame or fortune. She has spent much of her own money in her work and travels in this field and asked nothing in return. She does not take journalists with her to photo shoot her every movement, her every hug of an unfortunate child. Angelina is a true Angel and deserving of admiration by the world. To her, I think acting is a job and is just a way to get money to do what she really wants to do in her life, and that is to help children. With her adoption of two children, and now soon to give birth to her own with Brad, she may not have much time in the near future to return to the fields and do her work. I know, however, she will be keeping a beautiful and caring eye on that part of the world.
Bono is very much like her, although in a much more flamboyant way. Bono is one of our time's great bards, and knows how to draw attention. He is very much willing to grab the media by the throat and turn its cameras to show the world what he wants it to see, whether that's his band and himself, or the disaster of central Africa. Bono wants us to see Africa in all its raw and cruel form, something the modern, Western media really doesn't care to show unless he is the one showing it. It is to this end that he has had to resort to the methods that he has had to to draw our attention to the problems nobody in Europe or America would otherwise have cared to notice. Bono travels into some of the dirtiest, sickest, poorest, most dangerous parts of this planet and personally hands out medicines and foods and clothing that corrupt governments refuse to give to there own people. Yes, he takes the media with him and he makes sure they show him doing the work. Otherwise, would it makes the news showing some nameless UN dork passing out toys to kids? No. Would it if it was Bono passing out toys? Hell, yes! You see why he is up for the Nobel Peace Prize once again this year? I, for one, hope he wins it this time, instead of some past President who has no clue what the hell's going on or what the hell he's talking about! I'm sure Bono would do the right thing and donate the cash prize portion back to the charities. Maybe some of those big Western nations see fit to excuse some of the 3rd World's debt if these poor nations begin to clean up their acts. I mean, how many other rock stars in this world have ever had sit-downs with sitting Presidents? This guy's got balls!
All of you critics out there that bad-mouth Bono and Angelina every time they get in the news for doing something charitable, shut-the-f-up! I don't see your fat asses out there doing a damned thing to help anybody, Howard! If half of Hollywood's prima-donnas would give up a movie's salary to help the homeless in America, there would be no homeless in America, Michael! If these millionaire sportsters gave up one game's salary to help pay for needy children's medications, it would be covered for a year, T.O.! And if Congress would take a pay cut by 50%,(since they are all millionaires in the first place) the country would be out of debt in a heartbeat and all of the liberal social programs, as well as Social Security, would be safe for a century, Ted! I did the math. Look it up.
In conclusion, Angelina and Bono are a pair of Saints in my book, and someday they may be in the Big Guy's book as well. They are true heroes of our generation and will leave lasting legacies. They also make pretty good music and movies, as well!
Until next time, I'm the Center of the Universe, and you're not!

Oh! Holy Socks!

Hi There! How ya'all doing today? Your old buddy, the Center of the Universe here. Got a question for you. Does anyone out there wonder why it is that we humans can make a space suit that will keep us alive where there is no air, no heat, and tons of radiation; make body armor that bullets bounce off of; make fire-proof suits for fire-fighters and race-car drivers; make thermal underwear that keeps us warm on both poles as well as atop our highest mountains; make denim jeans that kids have to take knives to to get the right look in because even a raging bull cannot damage; and yet nobody can seem to make a pair of socks that will not end up with a hole in the toe, or heel, or both, a few months after you buy them? Why is that? Come-On! With all of today's modern technology, the microchips, the internet, the Tree-Huggers, you would think somebody somewhere would have come up with a sock material that would last for a long time and be comfortable. Now there is a million-dollar idea. Get that out there and you'll be set for life. Set it up in some dying Mid-West town and hire everybody that wants to work. The internet may someday go away, and I-pods are just a fad, but socks are here to stay, my brother! I do not know how many times I have gone to my sock drawer and pulled out a pair of socks, only to find that one of the pair has a hole in the toe. Not just a little hole, but a huge hole. I tell the wife, "Don't put these holey socks away, throw them away," and yet, I still find them every day. In fact, today I have to go to my local Wal-Mart to buy socks.
(No, there's not a Wal-Mart up here at the Center of the Universe! I don't live here, I just observe and comment from here!)
I'm not saying we need Kevlar toe and heel inserts, but a little research and development by Hanes would go a long way.
Now, for the next point I wish to make today, I bring up the "Tighty-Whitey", and white underwear in general. I, for one, would like to see all white underwear banned from sale, importation, and production all together. Whoever thought it such a great idea to begin with, I don't know. Brown would have been such a natural choice, wouldn't you think. Come-On! What is the point with white underwear? Great Caesar's Ghost! What are they thinking by continuing to produce it? And who still buys this stuff? Is the potential for picketting grandmas so great if Fruit-of-the-Loom and Hanes stops making white undies that they must continue? Are the lobbiests from Tide and Clorox greasing all the right palms to keep white panties on the shelves and in your drawers? It is time we give the rainbow of colors, including brown and black, a fair shake. Let them into your drawers, my friends. I'm sure you, too, will see a much better way of life when doing your, and your family's, laundery.
Face it, my minions, the only people that look good in white underwear are tanned female supermodels. Anybody disagree? I didn't think so! See ya'all later!