The Color of Love

Burgundy, Cardinal, Crimson, Magenta, Maroon, Rust, Scarlet, Vermillion, Rose, Pink, Coral, Persian, Sangria, Brick, Mauve, Amaranth, Alizarian, Blood, Cherry, Strawberry, Raspberry, Apple...
RED!
Hello, again, my disciples. It's that time of year again when love takes center stage. St. Valentine's Day is here! That special time of the year, when the cold wind still blows the white snows, and yet the hearts of women, from 5 to 95, are warmed by the smallest, or biggest, tokens of love and affection their men, be they fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, friends, or mere acquaintances, present them with on the 14th day of February.
The Color of this Day has been defined as that of the lowest frequency of light the human eye can see unaided: RED!
RED is a fantastic color, when you sit back and think about it. It represents Anger, Death, Blood, and LOVE. A dozen Red roses is passion materialized.
It is the basic color of Fire, as well as the exits, trucks, and extinguishers that go with it in an emergency. The Red of the Cross, the Crescent, and the Crystal all bring comfort in times of human need, world wide, with medical services, care, and aid. The Christians use Red to denote the presence of God, and Catholics use it to remind us of the blood of their martyrs. The deceased are named in the Great Book of the Dead with Red ink. And the Deadly Sin of Wrath is represented by the color Red.
The Red-Blooded are known to be audacious, robust, and virile. Mars, the God of War, as well as His Planet, are associated with Red. Every Ferrari to have raced on the Formula 1 circuit has been Italian Racing Red, and any road-going Ferrari painted in any other color just plain looks wrong. Red is the traditional color of Artillery Units in the world's armies. And Red has long been the label of the "opposing" armies during war games, representing the "bad guys", "the Reds", or "Commies".
In sport, many teams use Red as their primary color, to represent aggression in the face of their foes. The Redlegs, Red Sox, Red Storm, Red Raiders, and Red Wings, to name but a few. In politics, the Red States represent Republic strongholds, maybe due to the party's "hawkish, war-mongering" notoriety, opposed to the "liberal, passiveness" of the Blue-blood Democrats.
Some of our favorite natural foods are Red. Cherries, Strawberries, Chili peppers, Apples, Radishes, as well as Lobster and Beef. My favorite beers are Reds, in particular Irish Reds.
A noble effort has been underway for the past year, using the label (RED) to bring attention through commerce to the blight of AIDS-ravaged Africa and the efforts of honorable men and women the world over to bring a final cleansing of the disease from mankind.
The color Red is linked to many nations through their national emblems. The Red, White & Blue of the Stars and Stripes, as well as the Tri-colors of France, the Netherlands, and Russia, and the Union Jack of the UK. Red, White & Green represent the Latin nations of Italy and Mexico. Spain is Red and Gold. Germany and Belgium are Red, Black and Yellow. And Canada links it with White alone.
Holidays also use Red. Christmas pairs it with Green, July 4th uses it with Blue and White, and of course, St. Valentine's Day links it with White and Pink. And that brings me full circle.
So in this season of love and passion, when you see Red, let it remind you of the ones you love, you care for, and cherish in your life. The love of the Center of the Universe will be with all of you.

"Cockoo found Crispy in Detroit Alley"

Well minions, how about a little literary loonicy...
"This afternoon, the lifeless body of Sonny Cockoo was found in a trash-bin lined alley in downtown Detroit. The cause of is death was not yet known.
"Sonny, known for his antics as the "Cockoo for Cocoa Puffs!" spokescharacter, had been in Detroit renovating his high-rise penthouse. Authorities declined to confirm whether or not Sonny was a member of the infamous Cereal Box Gang, but he had been linked to Toucan Sam in a recent Las Vegas casino venture.
"The cause of the famous cockoo bird's death was not immediately known, although eye-witness reports indicated that the chocolate-colored pitch-bird of Cocoa Puffs fame had been horribly mutilated. Some had even suggested that the avian remains had been "barbecued" and coated in an Asian sweet and sour sauce.
"Police have questioned numerous children in the area who may or may not have been "Cockoo for Cocoa Puffs" cereal at the time of the killing, and may have had dealings with the character. None however were detained and the Detroit police are obviously baffled.
"The murder, for what else could it be, comes on the heals of other mysterious deaths surrounding some of the most famous cereal pitchmen. At the beginning of the year, the slaughtered carcass of Tony the Tiger was discovered by hikers in the Jellystone National Park. He had been visiting with the retired cartoon comedy team of Yogi and Booboo Bear over the holidays. The body of the famous Bengal tiger had been skinned, with an autopsy ruling that the famed Frosted Flakes feline had been skinned alive. The pelt has yet to be recovered.
"Just a week later, Cap'n Crunch disappeared from his sailing vessel, "Crunch Berries", while anchored in Baltimore harbour. His crew was interrogated and found to be innocent of any wrong doings. Then, when the official record was listed as "an unsolved disappearance of legal-aged persons", the bloated body of the Cap'n washed ashore just south of Martha's Vineyard. The autopsy ruled that the Cap'n had drowned after "walking the plank". His hands had been bound behind his back, his eye's covered, and a trio of cannon-balls lashed to his ankles to weigh him down. The later discovered from evidence of rope hemp fibers embedded in the Cap'n's ankles.
"And just last weekend, the famous Transylvanian Count Chocula was found impaled on a pike along side a seldom-travelled road in Transylvania. The Count had been in the region reportedly visiting with "old friends" when he failed to show up for a "Midnight Meal" at Castle Dracula, and was reported missing. Locals discovered the undead body of the Count the next morning, well past dawn. The sun's rise had not been kind to the cereal spokesgoul and his smoldering body could not be brought down for some time.
"These deaths, obviously murders in their gruesomeness, all seem related in the fact that all four are cereal spokesmen well known the world over. Additionally, these four are reputed to be members of the "Cereal Box Gang", a loose confederation of characters who have been known to be involved with many mob-like rackets. Others with known affiliations to the gang are L.C."Lucky" Leprechaun, Silly Rabbit, and Toucan Sam. BuzzBee, Sugar Bear, and Boo Berry have not been linked to the gang, although rumors persist in the industry of their involvement in enforcements, prostitution, and smuggling.
"Recently, famed detective Inspector Gadget was called in to oversee the nationwide investigation, and had no comment at the Detroit crime scene, other than to say "I've got a sudden craving for chicken. B-W's anyone?"
"Other cereal characters are unsure of what to make of the situation. The notion that a "Cereal Killer" is on the loose and targeting the most famous of the cultural icons grows with each grisly discovery. King Vitamin is known to have tripled his guard at his fortress in upper New York State, and Kaboom the Clown, Big Yella, and Quisp have all been reported to have taken up refuge there, at least temporarily.
"Snap, Crackle, and Pop have released a joint statement in defiance of the fear that has gripped their colleagues. Sunny, of Raisin Bran fame, has also refused to change his ways and will continue rising daily in the East. Frankenberry had no comment when asked about the death of his friend, Count Chocula, and Dig'em the Frog and Cornelius Rooster were unavailable for comment.
"This cereal saga has just begun, this reporter fears, and we will soon be treated to yet another horrible breakfast-time discovery all too soon."
...to be continued...