St.Brian's Day

Slainte!
As the Center of the Universe, I get to do a lot of things that most mortals don't get to. For instance, I have had intimate and interesting conversations with Death. I have seen the look of absolute surprise on the faces of Jihadiots when they arrive at the Pearly Gates only to find Satan at the wheel of the Subway to Hell, ready to deliver their everlasting souls into fiery damnation, instead of the promised 47 virgins and eternal glory of Allah. And I have the privilege to create a holiday!
I hereby announce to the planet Earth, the surrounding Universe, and everything else, that from this date forward, July 25th shall be known as St.BRIAN's Day! Yes, my dear friends, coworkers, minions, and all-others, I have so declared, and thus it is so!
July 25th, St.BRIAN's Day!
I like the sound of that, don't you?
What? Never heard of St.BRIAN, have you? Well, there isn't one, yet.
As the Center of the Universe, I thought it was time that all men christened "BRIAN" should have a day to be recognized as the strongest, most loyal, prideful, superior leaders that we all naturally are. After all, that's exactly what our name means.
From the great King of Ireland, Brian Boru, to the great actor Brian Dennehy. From figure skating Canadian Brian Boitano, to hockey great Brian Leetch from Texas. From singers Brian McKnight and Brian Wilson, to music producer Brian Eno. From guitarist-extraordinare Brian Setzer, to Brian the Dog on Family Guy. Brian's are everywhere and now it's time to recognize them all. Whether spelled Brian, or Bryan, Brion, Briant, Bryant, or the dozen or so other derivatives of the base, all are loyal, strong, fearsome, honorable men by name.
Oh, and let us not forget the strong women named Brianne, Breanne, Briana, and the others. Just as loyal, just as honorable, and always beautiful.
So, on July 25th, I want everyone named Brian to wear the Green of Ireland, in honor of the greatest Brian, King Brian Boru. And those of you unlucky to have that honored christening, lift your glasses of beer, wine, milk, or soda in toast, and give a hearty "Cheers! Slainte! or Nostrovia!" to the Brian's around you. It'd be nice if you ladies also gave a little kiss on the cheek of every Brian you can find, for Luck! I think we all would appreciate it!
From one Brian, to all the others out there:
Cheers!

More Jihadiots!

Here we go again, my Minions!
Just when you think things might just be getting better in the world...
BAM!
..."Jihad!" Now it's Hezbollatida's turn to show just how stupid this fundamentalist Islamic mindset is.
Over the past couple of years, Israel has given everything the "World" has asked it to, to provide the Palestinians a homeland. And even with a bit of violence here and there, things were looking up. Then Hamass-holes get into power, and go figure, they start screwing things up again.
In case you didn't know, the kidnapping of an Israeli soldier back in June near the Gaza boarder is what started this all up again.
Now, since common sense doesn't exist within the Jihadiot mind, the entire Mid-east is on the brink of all-out WAR! And don't think the Hezbollatidas, the Hamas-holes, or the other Jihadiots of the region are in charge. These cockroaches are little more than puppets of Syria and Iran. Syria provides the cockroaches, and Iran provides the weopons and money. It is very plain to see just what is going on here, and it won't be long before we, The Great United States of America, are drawn in by the bait, into a shooting war with the Jihadiots, and then with Syria and Iran.
Once the sh**t hits the fan and our missiles and bombs begin to pound Damascus and Teheran, Iran will use this excuse to launch its high-powered warheads into Israel. And then we'll drop a nuke or two into Iran, and Syria, and then we, The Great United States of America, will be blamed, ridiculed, and condemned by the piss-ant Euro-pee-on Union, led by the White-flaggot Frenchies, who don't want to get involved themselves in world security if it isn't on their terms.
I have often wondered if Europe would have asked for our help had Hitler not invaded France. It wasn't until we landed in France (to liberate them after they had surrendered, remember?) that we found out about the camps, and the mass murders of Jews. I ask, would France and its continental neighbors had asked for our help in destroying the Nazis had they not been invaded? Would they have turned a blind eye to the atrocities? Would they have done the same as Germany? Is this why they even today take the side of Palestine against Israel? Is France, a known supplier to Syria, just as big an enemy of Israel and the Jews as the fundamentalist Islamics?
I fear the world may be on the brink of World War III, my friends. The sides may even now be aligning, before our very eyes. And there is absolutely nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that we as Americans can do about it. The very fate of our future, our children, may very well be in the hands of a couple of fascist dictators pulling the strings in the Middle-East, for their own amusement.
Would it be so bad to strike now, to kill them and all of their pathetic, diseased ideas, before it's too late? Do we want our children facing a world under the nuclear thumb of these fanatical terrorist leaders and nations? Or would it be best to ignore them and hope they go away?
Pacifists die without pride or dignity. Or a future.
Let's take 'em out, NOW!