You, Too!

From my Great Recliner here at the Center of the Universe, I am witness to all the world's ills and troubles. I realize that many of you out there live blissful, ignorant lives, and are not aware that every day humanity is ONE STEP CLOSER to a ZOO STATION where LOVE IS BLINDNESS. We will ignore our own mortality UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD overwhelms our collective souls and sends us all to that VAN DIEMEN'S LAND in the sky, to witness firsthand THE UNFORGETTABLE FIRE that even an ANGEL OF HARLEM must stand in awed silence before.
I know that I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR in this existence, but I WILL FOLLOW my DESIRE, through all of its ambiguous and MYSTERIOUS WAYS until I finally reach that BEAUTIFUL DAY, where VERTIGO will overwhelm my senses and I become NUMB with raw emotion. I will view THE THREE SUNRISES of an EVERLASTING LOVE, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU there beside me. I would rather you were there in the SUMMER RAIN, and not exist as THE WANDERER in search of some DIRTY DAY, until your LAST NIGHT ON EARTH.
THE SWEETEST THING in life is when you reach for that ONE goal that's EVEN BETTER THAN THE REAL THING and you achieve it. ALL I WANT IS YOU to harness your ELECTRICAL STORM of self PRIDE and pray for LOVE AND PEACE OR ELSE this world is doomed to be our last CITY OF BLINDING LIGHTS. You can all hope that WHEN LOVE COMES TO TOWN she is not SO CRUEL that you get STUCK IN A MOMENT YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF, like THE FLY trapped aloft on an untethered KITE.
This DISCOTHEQUE of life can be BAD without SILVER AND GOLD to pay for our way to a NEW YEAR'S DAY in that great, divine place WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME and LOVE COMES TUMBLING into our outstretched arms, to HOLD ME, THRILL ME, KISS ME, KILL ME with pure, glorious emotion, the ELEVATION of which no mortal has ever felt.
I know that You, Too, feel this way, deep within the ZOOROPA of your collective souls. Let us all follow Bono's voice, the Edge's lead, Larry and Adam's rhythms, until we can all live together as one People, sing with one Voice, and exist on one Earth.
Live well, pure, and prosperous, my Minions.

The Great Race

Memorial Day Weekend. The unofficial start of summer and a time to remember those who gave their lives to secure ours. Among other things, for the racing fan this is the busiest, greatest weekend of racing throughout the year.
The morning started with the Formula One Grand Prix of Monaco, through the streets of picturesque Monte Carlo. The day finished up with the day-into-night Coca-Cola World 600 for the Nextel Cup drivers in Charlotte.
In between these two outstanding events was run the Greatest Spectacle in Racing.
The 90th Indianapolis 500!
Once again, I was among the 350,000 spectators in attendance to witness this historic event. This race would go into the record-books as one of the hottest, as well as one of the closest finishes of all time.
I have been attending the "500" since 1977, the year A.J. became the first 4-time winner. I have missed a few, due to military commitments through the years. I have seen history made on that 2.5 mile oval, winners crowned, and tragedy through the years. The Speedway is for me as Mecca is for Muslims. Being there is an almost religious experience for me, each and every time I set foot upon those historic grounds.
For the last decade, I have viewed the "500" from the infield viewing mounds. This gives me the freedom to move from place to place to watch the race, as well as take a wide variety of pictures. I'm an amateur photog, after all. In the past I have been at the right place at the right time, camera at the ready, and captured some very exciting moments.
The day started out warm and grew hotter as the morning gave way to afternoon. We fans baked under the sun as we awaited the start of the "500". 350,000 men, women, and children sucked down water, beer, and sodas, all in an effort to stay cool under the hottest sky Central Indiana had seen in a year. Sunburns would be nursed for the next couple of days, I can tell you.
The race began with the air temperature hovering around 90 degrees, and getting hotter. The drivers took the green flag and blasted through turn #2 past me with a deafening roar unequalled throughout sports. 33 unleashed Honda thoroughbreds screamed into history with only the Borg-Warner winner's trophy within their sights. But Indy is not to be taken lightly, and on lap 2 teammates Chesson and Bucknam took each other out.
The race resumed under the blazing sun and settled into a long, blindingly fast run that saw the emergence of defending champion Dan Wheldon setting the pace with dominating determination. We fans boiled as the cars roared past. I witnessed many a spectator giving in to the sun and retreat into the shade. I held my ground.
On the track, father and son Andretti battled, former champions Cheever, Lazier, Castroneves, Rice, and Unser, Jr. ran hard but lost ground under the torrid pace the leaders threw down. Phenom Danika raced careful, steady, and very fast, gaining and holding onto a place in the top 10.
Then deja-vous struck Scheckter. He bounced off the turn 4 wall, as he had four years ago, and nailed the end of the pit road wall. It was a devastating wreck, but he was uninjured. Other cars were damaged by debrie, and some over-heated fans were struck by the car's errant rear wing, without serious injury.
For the next hour of racing, many of the lesser financed teams fell laps down or out of the race with mechanical woes. Just past half-way, past-champions Helio Castroneves and Buddy Rice, both fighting their cars most of the race, came together and took each other out of the race. Drivers with lesser experience began making mistakes as the heat of the sun bore down on them, as well as the 350,000 sweating fans watching. Simmons and Hornish were among those who made pit-road mistakes. Both took off with the fuel hoses still attached. Hornish suffered a drive-thru penalty. Simmons, on the other hand, took his nozzle with him, damaging his car. The nozzle, when it came free, was run over by two-time winner Al Unser, Jr., who then wrecked in turn 3. Simmons wrecked in turn 2 under the caution. All this set up Wheldon, the Andretti's, Dixon, Patrick, Kanaan, and Franchitti for the battle to the end.
But Sam Hornish, Jr. would not be denied this time, and attacked the leaders. A late caution for Bell's crash, a blocking penalty to Dixon, and a great final pitstop set Hornish, Jr. up for a final, exciting battle with the Andretti's, father and son.
The 350,000 fans roared their approval as seemingly out of nowhere Michael Andretti was leading the race with less than five laps to go, but son Marco showed his dad his youthful aggression on the restart. Marco led and the spectators cheered the 19 year-old on to victory. But Sam Hornish, Jr., the race's pole sitter, showed what winning two series championships means when the Indy 500 is within your grasp. Nothing.
Sam Hornish, Jr. passed Marco Andretti on the front stretch, with less than 100 yards to the finish line and took the checkered flag, to the cheers of the 350,000 barbecued spectators, cementing his place in immortality as the Winner of the 90th running of the Indianapolis 500 mile race!
Congratulations, Sam Hornish, Jr.
From your fan at the Center of the Universe.

20 Quotes

Greetings, dear colleagues, from the Center of the Universe. Today I want to throw something your way and see what happens. I've gathered up 20 quotes and listed them, in no particular order, for your assessment. I ask that you read through them, and then if you think you know who might have said the quote, visit the comments page, and let me know who by indicating which number of the quote with the author you feel said it. It should be interesting and I will monoblogue about your responses at a future time.
Without further ado, I give you 20 Quotes:
1) Only a coward would want fewer good guys with guns on the streets in today's world.
2) The vast majority of America's free press does not report news, they make it up.
3) The first rule of a gunfight, of course, is to have a gun.
4) Drugs and alcohol destroy one's level of awareness, sure as hell.
5) One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking. Because He is.
6) Sometimes you give the world the best you got, and you get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you got anyway.
7) There is a simple answer to crime. It's called enforcing the law.
8) All life comes from beyond the pavement and our call to stewardship of these precious life-giving renewable resources runs strong and deep.
9) Criminals celebrate when politicians clear the path for their destructive ways.
10) Once we survive our teenage years we should probably question anything and everything status quo.
11) Smoking will not make you sexy, a party animal, cool, or a cowboy, no matter how much you do it. Try licking an ashtray.
12) If we and what we believe in are ignored, the truth will die. Only activism will put us in charge. Anything else is slavery.
13) Quality of life comes from self-discipline augmented with parental discipline.
14) We good citizens of the United States have a God-given right to defend our loved ones and ourselves.
15) When the average American worker works his and her ass off until May 3rd just to pay Uncle Sam's bloodsucking taxes, I guess we can accurately identify who is in charge of our time and our money.
16) Clearly, weak people buy into the pathetic image-marketing campaign that getting drunk will get you laid.
17) If survivalists are looney, then the nonsurvivalists are just plain wimps.
18) How dare politicians continue to pass insane laws forcing good, law-abiding people to be defenseless and helpless.
19) Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Keith Moon, John Bonham, Bon Scott, John Belushi, Jerry Garcia, Kurt Cobain. They got high, and they're all dead.
20) The bad guys already carry guns. It's time to level the playing field.

There you have them. I look forward to your "guesses", and any comments you might have. Now, back to relaxing after a hard day's work.
Thank you, and enjoy life my comrades.

To Be #1

I want to start off by thanking each and every one of you who have been visiting "The Center of the Universe" for the past six months. This blog is Blog #50 for me and what better way to mark the occasion than to once again visit the Greatness that is Me, the Center of the Universe!
Some of you out there already know my given name. I am Brian, named for the Greatest High-King of Ireland, Brian Boru. King Brian was the man who brought the regional rulers of Ireland under a single High-King, defeated the Vikings who constantly raided the island, and ruled Ireland strongly and yet fairly from 1002 to 1014. He was a great military leader of the time. He seized the initiative, defeated his enemies, and although he was ruthless and brutal by today's standards, he sought reconciliation in the aftermath of victory.
My given name is appropriate for my persona. "Brian", of Celtic origin, means Strength, Honor, Valor, and Courage. To one degree or another I exhibit these qualities. The name also means "He Who Ascends" in the Irish. Through this, obviously I am a born leader.
Of course, being a Leo, this expands on my natural authority. I am independent, active, passionate, and can be quite generous. Although I project pessimism, I am usually quite optimistic and determined to excel. I'm middle aged, and yet when I go indulge myself in my passionate hobby of go-kart racing, I am not satisfied unless I have set a time in the top three for that day. When I climb from the kart and pull off my distinctive green, gold,& blue helmet, I enjoy seeing the expressions on the young Gen-Xers faces when they realize a guy twice their ages just whipped them! I just grin like the proverbial cat that just devoured the canary and slip away.
I am an ambitious and self-centered man. I am kind-hearted, generous, and sympathetic. I enjoy conversation and relish repartee. Storytelling is a favorite pastime of mine, and sitting at the keyboard for hours on end as a story flows from my creative mind energizes me. Molding common words into a sculpture of my own is truly gratifying.
One thing I do like, I like to lounge when the time comes. I'm by no means lazy, but do enjoy basking in the Sun, my ruling Symbol and Fiery source of life, as well as curling up in a cozy corner, to be left alone until the time comes that I want your attentions again.
And center of attention I must be! I can be hot-headed, fiery, and passionate, all within the span of moments. Great emotions are my gift, as well as my curse. Controlling them is out of the question. It would be like trying to control a forest fire with a squirt gun.
Another thing about me is my protective instinct. Don't mess with my family, my pride, if you cherish your existence. Enough said.
"The brightest stars burn half as long". This is my destiny. I will more than likely die young, maybe within a decade. I can accept this on some levels. I live life today as if it were my last. I've been shot at, wrecked, busted up, concussed, and I don't know what else. My ankle, wrecked in a training accident, has been worked on and still aches nearly every day. As does my knee that was broken in Spain, from a fall down the side of a mountain. I've not been good to my body over the years, to say the least.
Yeah, I'm an Egotist. Among other things. Call me what you will, you are merely Minions to my Greatness. And yet I love and cherish each and every one of you. I will go to any length asked of me for your safety, security, and well-being. Treat me well, and I'll die for you if need be. But I'll be taking somebody with me, for sure!
I am Brian!
I am Leo!
I am #1!
I am the Center of the Universe!

Eat 'Em Up...Yum!

Take warning, friends. The battle for Planet Earth is at hand.
Over the past few weeks, humans the world over have been attacked viciously by the animal kingdom. Deaths have resulted. The great beasts of this world are waging a war against us humans, and very few of us can see it happening.
For years, men and women have been killed while minding there own business by members of the Animal Militia of Earth, the AME. The "AME" of these beasts is to obviously rid the planet of us, the dominant species, and regain it for themselves. Everywhere you turn, we are being attacked, maimed, and killed off, one by one. This is no laughing matter.
For thousands of years, we humans have been working to better ourselves, our lives, and our civilization. We, of course, have a civilization, something animals don't have. We have grown to love, laugh, and live together, although we do have our quarrels. On thing we do do, however, is that we take care of those in need, who don't have enough, or anything. This includes animals.
Some have said that humans are killers, the destroyers of life throughout the world. I say, not so. We have strived for decades to preserve the existence of endangered species, spending millions of dollars that would have otherwise fed children, housed the poor, and created jobs. No, friends, it is plainly obvious that without the helping hands of humans, so many species of this planet would have been eliminated through natural selection long ago. They exist today only because Man plays God with their very existence.
The group PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, have a good heart in their cause, but they are blind to the reality of the situation. The weak MUST perish for the strong to survive. If we as humans are to survive, the weak species of this world must die. That is what disease is for. To eliminate vast groups of the weak.
Before man arrived, millions of weaker species fell into extinction. We didn't have anything to do with this. Then we grew stronger, more intelligent than them, and took over at the top of the food chain. This journey of survival took thousands of years, and we're not through yet by a longshot.
Ethics must dictate that the strong survive. After all, what do animals contribute to the greater good? Do they advance the arts or sciences? Do they create for the masses? Do they nurture those in need? Do they help those who cannot help themselves?
NO. No, no, no, no! Animals do NOTHING!
Animals are the ultimate consumer, however. They take, take, take, without giving anything back. We kill and eat their flesh to nourish our bodies. They kill and eat the weaker species to nourish their bodies. Not much difference there. We kill them to protect our young. They kill to protect their young. Again, no difference. Then why should we give them an advantage over us? They will survive if it meant for them to survive. History is filled with examples. Look them up for yourselves.
Today, humans make the rules. It wasn't always like that, and someday it may change again. But for now, we're at the top and plan on staying there.
Look around and see how the animals are once again on the attack. If you plan on staying atop the pyramid of life, do your part. Go out tonight and have a steak, eat some buffalo-wings, enjoy a lobster tail, barbecue up a rack of ribs, what-ever! Just eat meat and do your part to keep Man on Top!
I know I plan to! Cheers, from the Center of the Universe!

The Naked Truth

Hello again, Devotees. Cheers from the Great Green Recliner at the Center of the Universe! In this monoblogue I want to get down to the naked truth.
Specifically, the naked truth of female nudity.
The nude female form is by far the most depicted in art throughout history. It is standard practice for students of art to draw, paint, or sculpt the naked woman. Every art gallery contains many famed paintings that include nude females. Famous religious works depict women in the nude, or at least bare breasted, and are shown without censor. And yet we live in a puritanical society that vegges out the moment a nipple is flashed across the screen, be it planned or accidental.
Oh...My...GOD!
What is wrong with a society that panics at the sight of nudity. Are we not all born in the nude? Are we not made in His image? Adam and Eve were created and set upon the Earth in the nude. Does this not mean that Man's given form is therefore the form God Himself wants us to bare. If we are indeed created in His form, then God must also be free of restricting garb. Why would God need clothes, anyhow?
The most beautiful form in nature is that of a nude, young woman. Magazines throughout the world depict the beauty of woman in all her nudity. Playboy, Penthouse, Maxim, National Geographic, People, all of them show women in glorious, naked beauty.
Every year, every major magazine throws out its "Best Dressed" or "Top Beauties" or "Most Beautiful" or "Swim Suit" editions. Lists are made ranking the most beautiful women, be they actors, singers, models, what have you. Man is obsessed with beautiful women, and a nude woman is by far the most beautiful vision of that woman. What's so wrong about that?
Women the world over strive for beauty with creams, make-ups, clothing, spas, etc. They want to be as beautiful as possible to impress men, and other women. If they could, I am sure they would, expose themselves in all their birthday glory to show the world the extent of their beauty. Too bad they get arrested if they do it in the USA. Europe leads us in this area, by far. Nude woman advertise soaps on billboards, shampoo on the TV, and are the objects of victory in gameshows over there. British papers have a daily nude within their pages. We scream for God's salvation if too much hip is shown on a sit-com. Geez. Get real people.
I love naked women. I enjoy drawing. For the most part, I draw nude or nearly nude women. I find the hours spend at my desk relaxing. The details you discover within the nude female form when describing it to paper with pencil are awesome. I have drawn girlfriends, wives of friends, strippers, and popular women from TV and film. I have sold some in the past, though now I keep them in my "Blue Book", a collection of drawings I've told I want buried with me. The complex, soft curves of the naked female form is the most enjoyable to draw. Shadows define the form. A miscue of the pencil can change an expression from lustful to mournful. A stray shadow can add ten pounds to a figure, or raise her cup size.
I often look for different poses for a subject. I look for a pose that will accept the figure of the woman. Some women just can't give a good over-the-shoulder pose, for example. Some look much better standing than lying down. Differing backgrounds or props add to the picture. I have done some very simple drawings, with nothing but the nude woman standing. I have done some very complex drawings with tractors, race cars, swimming pools, and barns for backgrounds. I have done fur coats, lacey underwear, and chains adorning the girl. Sometimes I find I've spent more time on the props than on the nude herself!
The naked female form is not to be hidden from the admiring eyes of man. Men and women alike find something about the nude beauty of a woman enticing. We love all women in some special way. It's in our nature. To admire beauty is not sinful, but holy. God created beauty, not Satan. To admire beauty, nudity, and sexuality, is what God wants. Beauty may only be skin deep, but God crafted that skin.
Go out, admire a woman for her beauty, and thank God for the gifts that give us the ability to recognize the differences between nude women and a pile of dog crap.
And if you don't have one handy, go out and buy a magazine.
Take care and enjoy the beauty.

It's Not Real!

Minions, Zealots, Disciples, and Underlings. Listen up!
IT'S NOT REAL!!!
That's right! I'm sorry to have to break it to you this way, but "The DaVinci Code" is not real. It is a fictional movie, based on a fictional novel, based on a dubious theory that cannot ever be proved, one way or the other. There is no international conspiracy, led by either the Freemasons or the Catholics, to hide the bloodline of Jesus, the riches of King Solomon, or any other fantastic idea stemming from the ancient religious world. It's not real!
Let's take a look at Hollywood, again. When a movie is made that questions a religion, changes Biblical scripture for entertainment, or just plain retells a story from a slightly different point of view, all HELL quite literal breaks out! People are protesting in the streets, going on talk-shows to rant and crucify the actors and film-makers, and generally reeking havoc with anything and anyone involved with the movie. It's even been said that Satan Himself is behind these movies, and that the Jewish base within Hollywood make these movies in an attempt to undermine and destroy the Religious Right of America.
I say: BULLSHIT!
These movies are made for one reason and one reason only. To make Money! Pure and simple; Capitolism at it's best. These people make money making movies. 'The almighty dollar is what they want. Not to change the world. Not to change your religion. Not to change your politics. They want to make $$$$MONEY$$$$!
There is no Star Fleet. There is not a Galactic Empire. There are no monster sharks. There are no mutant super heroes or villains. There are no talking animals. There are no human-leather-wearing psychopathes. There is no impending meltdown that will wash away the coastal cities of the world and bury us all under a meter of snow and ice. There are no cops running around shooting bad-guys willy-nilly. (Well, maybe in LA) There are no 00 secret agents.
The point is, when you go pay your $10 to see a movie, you are paying to be entertained. Nothing more. You should be smart enough to know better. If not, if you take movies, TV shows, and even books too seriously, you are in a world of hurt. Get a life. I tell people all the time to think about what they see on TV, the news especially, and investigate it. Don't take anything at face value any more. There is too much BS out there being passed off as credible, and then disproved, not to. Be wary of anything the Press, the Government, your teachers, anyone tells you until you've researched it yourself.
Then again, you can always live in happy, numb, bliss for the rest of your lives and watch "Deal or No Deal", waiting to win the lottery, and putting on an average of 5.25 pounds a year like the rest of America.
Live Well and Prosper, Earthlings!

Isolate/Annihilate

Hello again, Underlings. From my Kelly-green recliner here in the ethereal void where I view all that is and comment on it, I see that a favorite pastime of the majority of you out there is to visit the Hollywood genre of Horror.
All too many of you minions find a near-sexual draw to these hacker/slasher/blood-n-gore features. It is too bad that for the most part today's thrillers are rehashings of much better, and original, films of the past. Movie makers of today lack creativity when it comes to suspenceful stories that keep an audience on the edge of panic yet craving more. Instead, they go to the make-up and prop departments for faux-gore, or if they have something of a budget they pull in the special digital effects nerd to do all the visuals. That's too bad.
Recently, I managed to find some time to view a pair of recent additions to the genre. The first was "Hostel", a typical teen-killing feature where the audience eventually knows more than the actors. Although I thought the story concept was interesting, I was disappointed in the overall outcome. Q. could have done a lot more to explain the motivations behind the "brothel's" patrons. Additional, the "hero", rather "survivor", of the adventure moved quite well for a guy with deep puncture wounds in both thighs! I'd give it an overall "C".
The other film I watched receives an "A" in my book. "Saw 2" was an outstanding sequel for a genre that can't figure out that sequel does not mean equal when it comes to storyline. "Saw 2" was sufficiently different from the original that it could stand alone. The suspense was excellent and kept me guessing. The twist was great if not unexpected and really gave me pause to rerun the movie through my head as the climax rolled. Few horror movies today can achieve this effect without giving away too much, or pulling it out of their ass.
The main theme of any good horror movie plays on our primal fears; Isolation = Annhilation! The "killer", be it a psychopath, monster, alien, what-have-you, always seeks to Isolate the "victims". We are always introduced to these poor souls early, led to feel sympathy for them in most cases, or hated in others, and then we sit back and watch as over the course of the next 90 minutes they are picked off one after the other. Usually, the "hero/survivor" is easily picked out by the audience before or shortly after the first death, and well before any of the others figure out what the hell is going on. Unfortunately, for we the voyeurs, by this time we have usually figured out what "we" would be doing to stay alive, and it's never what the "victims" end up doing. This leads to an almost comical opera of predictable death and destruction that we've seen over and over. So many of these movies end up fading into the darkness of the bargain bins at the Wal-Mart.
There are exceptions, of course. Most of the original films, such as "Halloween", "Friday the 13th", "A Nightmare on Elm Street", "Alien", "Scream", "Saw", "The Blob", "The Thing From Another World", "Assault on Precinct 13", "The Town That Dreaded Sundown", and the like, were creative, original, and excellent thrillers in their time. To see these movies the first weekend in the theater is the true pinnacle of edge-of-your-seat thrills. Nothing can top that adrenaline rush you get the first time the boogy-man strikes in a movie you know nothing about before hand. It is orgasmic!
We crave to thrilled, to be scared, to be afraid of the dark and the unknown once again as we so often were as children. This genre is a door to our youth that all of us, no matter what our age, can enjoy time and again. But we need originality. We need to see what we haven't seen before, to be scared by what has never scared us before, to fear what we've never feared before, to be told a story that we've never heard before. This is what a truly memorable horror thriller must do to become a classic.
Let's see what they can come up with next.
Take care, my Zealots!

Frenchie-Frying

Greetings, Minions!
The people of the Great United States have once again been attacked. Not by weapons of mass destruction, but by the all-powerful insult. And once again it is the Frenchies pulling the trigger.
For some reason, the French have envied us for years. We've bailed them out of two world wars and a conflict in SE Asia that still haunts us. Yet what do they do? They insult us every chance they get. They bitch and moan about every thing we do in the world, and yet they have a record in world issue interference worse than us by far. Don't forget about their human rights records. Remember French Guyana and their prisons of death? And they have the gaul to criticize us about Guantanimo!
Did you know that in French schools, the children are taught that France alone drove the Germans back in '45. There is little mention of our, or Britain's, sacrifices to free their country. I guess they are embarrassed about surrendering within a week after the Germans drove right past that great defensive line of theirs.
Politics aside, I want to call attention to the attacks the Euro-crates have made about our over-all weight issues. Yes, Americans are not the greatest when it comes to keeping slim and trim. Why is this? Because we like food! And lots of it!
America is a melting pot of nationalities, and each bring their own flavors of tasty foods. For the most part, we enjoy the foods of everyone. We may have personal prejudices when it comes to race, religion, or sexual orientation, but when it comes to food, we devour Liberally.
There is not a time when a block of commercials on TV don't include at least one for a food or drink, and one for a restaurant. We are mentally saturated with advertisements for food, and it all looks so good. The first question asked when going on a date is "Where would you like to eat?"
The great American Steak and Potatoes meal is tops with me, washed down with an Irish Red beer. Pizza, tacos, cheeseburgers, gyros, buffalo wings, egg fu yong, spaghetti, corn dogs, Ruben sandwiches, BBQ ribs, mmm-mmm-GOOD! And then desserts! And snacks! And candy! And sodas! And beer! Yes, beer! And all of it thrown in our face 24/7. Is it any wonder we enjoy our food so much, and subsequently put on a few extra pounds?
We, as the Greatest Nation on Earth, have earned the right to eat what we want, when we want, and as much as we want. We work harder and longer than any nation in the world, we fix all the problems of the world, we give our tax money to everyone who sticks his hand out, we send our extra food to those who beg, we send aid to everyone's disasters, we use our military might to put down dictators, and what does the world do? They insult us, piss on us, snub their noses at us, turn their backs on us, point their collective fingers at us, accuse us, and disrespect us. And nearly all of it comes out of those Frenchie mouths, the self-proclaimed Anti-American leaders of the Euro-World. What has France done to earn its place in the world? What has France done to earn respect? Nothing. They suck. And they're keeping Canadia down by brainwashing Her people with Anti-American propaganda, straight out of Quebecois mouths.
Sorry, I didn't mean for this to go all French-Frying. Mmmm, McDonald's french fries! This monoblogue is about food. American food. Our food. And if the rest of the world doesn't like the way we Americans eat, drink, and be merry, then they can JUST STAY HOME! Ignore us. Leave us alone. And we'll stop spending money on your crap, visiting your "vacation spots", and your problems.
Otherwise, shut your traps, give us our due respect, and leave us to our own problems. You're not the boss of me!
Oh yeah. And leave Canadia to the Canadians.
Thank you for your support!

Full Auto Mk.2

It is time once again, my disciples, for FULL AUTO BLOGFARE! Please, do not try this at home. I am a trained professional after all.

+ I have to tell you, if the WNBA (and all other women's sports) were to play topless, the stands would be full every single night, and they'd outdraw just about all other sports, with the exception of the NFL and NASCAR. We gotta have our speed and violence, too, ladies!
+ Just a note to you youngsters out there looking to enter the workforce; Ain't nobody gonna hire you if you go into your interview with your ass hanging out of your pants, your face full of piercings and jewelry, tattoos on your face and hands, and an attitude straight out of the 'hood. That's just the way it is.
+ Hey, IRAN! You can be wiped off the face of the planet just as easily as Israel, you know. Don't push us!
+ A quick and easy solution to drinking in college; lower the legal drinking age to 18. If you can smoke, have sex, and kill for your country at this age, why not drink a beer? Besides, if it's legal it takes the thrill out of it.
+ The difference between a Great Person in history and an Important Person in history is that Important People don't seek self-profit from their fame. Michael Jordan: Great. Mother Teresa: Important. Get it?
+ If the Democrats gain control of Congress this year, what is their agenda? Secure the borders? Reform immigration? Get control of fuel costs? Nope. They want to spend millions of our tax dollars to investigate and eventually impeach a lame-duck President with less than two years left in office, then raise taxes on us workers to pay for all the social programs they think will get people to vote in their canidates. Great plan, right? Hell, they're already acting as if they've won, and they can't wait to spend our taxes on their "righteous crusade" against W. You have been warned, America!
+ My favorite comedic films: 1) Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 2) The Blues Brothers, 3) The Big Lebowski, 4) Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?, 5) Hooper
+ Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people. If laws were in place to limit and track the purchase of ammunition, gun crimes would drop. Guns can be had anyplace on the streets by criminals, so the current laws don't work. Isn't it ridiculous that gangstas can go into Wal-Mart and buy up all the ammo they need without so much as a photo ID? I think the government is legislating the wrong end of this problem.
+ Who'll win the Indy 500 this year? For the record, my pick is Scott Dixon in the #9 Target Dallara/Honda fielded by Target/Chip Ganassi Racing. My sentimental pick would be Bryan Herta in the #7 XM Satellite Radio Dallara/Honda fielded by Andretti/Green Racing. I'll be there, on the mound in Turn 2, Race Day!
+ Playboy Playmates, and their perfect 10 like companions, are to today's women as the Ferrari Enzo and the Bugatti Veyon are to the Chevy Monte Carlo and Dodge Chargers. They look good but cost waaaayyyy too much. Then again, the Enzo will still be looking good and turning heads in 25 years! Can't say that about Miss October, can you?

And there you have another installment of Full Auto Blogfare. If you have something you would like for me to rant and rave about, drop me a note and I'll see what I can do. Until next time, relax and enjoy the ride!

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Bienvenidos, hermano y hermana! Feliz Cinco de Mayo! Bravo Mexico!
El Cinco de Mayo has come once again, mi Amigos, and this year it shall carry with it a special patriotism that has been lacking in the decades past. For so many of us Norto Americanos, Conco de Mayo, the 5th of May, is viewed as a Mexican celebration of independence. Of course, that is wrong. For those of you who do not know the history of this significant Mexican date, I'll be so happy to enlighten you.
El Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican national celebration commemorating the victory of Mexico's military forces, led by the Grande Generale Ignacio Zaragozo, over Napolean's French expeditionary forces. This battle took place on 5 May 1862 near the Mexican city of Puebla. Fort Guadalupe, protecting the pass near Puebla, housed the Mexican force of Federales who would defeat three French attacks in the rainy season downpours that turned the ground to mud. Backed by local Indians, the Mexican troops counter-attacked, overran the French lines, and forced the French to withdrawal. (Typical Frenchies, right?) A year later, though, Napoleon sent in a massive 30,000 more troops, bypassed the city of Puebla and its fort, and marched on Mexico City. The city was taken and a puppet French regime ruled Mexico for four years. The French would soon be defeated once again, by the legitimate Mexican government's forces, aided by the post Civil War U.S. Military.
Cinco de Mayo has become the Mexican version of St. Patrick's Day here in the Great United States. Barbecues, fiestas, and parades celebrating this nation's Chicano heritage are recognized throughout the country by people of every race, color, and nationality. As with St. Patrick's Day, when everyone's a wee bit Lucky O'Irish, and Octoberfest, when we're all brat-eating, beer-gulping Germans, on Cinco de Mayo we are all Loco Chicano!
With the Latino-American population of these Great United States growning into the second largest ethnic group (behind German-Americans and ahead of African-Americans and Irish-Americans) it won't be long until the influences of our southern neighbors are felt outside of the fantastic foods. Latinos are stepping up into the leadership roles throughout America and the voices of the people have been heard loud and clear these past weeks. I for one welcome them all as hermanos y hermana, brothers and sisters, in building this great nation stronger with every passing day.
As with the immigrant Irish, who fled famine, or the immigrant Russians, who fled communism, and the immigrant Jews, who fled the holocaust, or the immigrant Cubans, who fled tyranny, the immigrant Mexicans come to us, fleeing poverty, and seeking a better future for themselves and their posterity. We should all welcome them with open arms and open hearts. It is the American Way, after all.
We are all immigrants. Everyone's roots are elsewhere in this world if you dig deep enough. Well, unless you are a Native American Indian, of course. To them, we are all illegal aliens! Hey, don't they have a celebration day? We need to find out and get it recognized the nation over. Every ethnic group should have it's day here in America, and they all should be celebrated by all of us.
Let's make it happen, my Zealots!
Until then, Feliz Cinco de Mayo! Buenos notches, muchachos y muchachas.

I Feel Numb

Welcome to the Center of the Universe.
This monoblogue is apt to bring all of you down, so proceed at your own risk, Underlings.
The great Encyclopedia Universalis defines NUMB as "Being deprived of feeling". To feel numb is therefore an oxymoron. One cannot feel if one cannot feel what one cannot feel. Simple.
In today's world there is so much negativity being pounded into our Numb-skulls that we are often overwhelmed and lose all sense of feeling. We see, we witness, we observe, and yet we are so detatched anymore that we feel nothing. Disasters brought to us by the televised media are little more than entertainment in the evening before bed. Our jobs sap our energies until we become stupified automatons. We are deadened to sights of the dead, unfeeling to those suffering, and paralyzed into inaction by our own lethargy.
U2, the great (Saint) Bono, The Edge, Larry and Adam, the greatest band on the planet without a doubt, have a very witty take on this subject. To paraphrase through the voice of The Edge:
"Don't move=Don't talk out-a-time=Don't think=Don't worry, everything's just fine=Don't grab=Don't clutch=Don't hope for too much=Don't breathe=Don't achieve=Don't grieve without leave=Don't check, just balance on the fence=Don't answer=Don't ask=DON'T TRY AND MAKE SENSE=Don't whisper=Don't talk=Don't run if you can walk=Don't cheat=Don't compete=Don't miss the one beat=Don't travel by train=Don't eat=Don't spill=Don't shoot=Don't kill=Don't piss in the drain=Don't make a will=Don't fill out any forms=Don't compensate=Don't cover=Don't crawl=Don't come around late=Don't hover at the gate=Don't take it aboard=Don't fall on your sword=Don't change your brand=Don't listen to the band=Don't gape=Don't ape=Don't change your shape=Don't plead=Don't bridle=Don't shackle=Don't grind=Don't curve=Don't swerve=DON'T LIE=Don't die=Don't serve=Don't theorize, realize, polarise=Don't chance, dance, dismiss, or apologize=Don't spy=Don't try=Don't triumph=Don't coax=Don't cling=Don't hoax=Don't freak=Don't peak=Don't leak=Don't speak=Don't project, connect, or protect=Don't expect or suggest=Don't struggle=Don't jerk=Don't collar=Don't work=Don't wish=Don't fish=Don't teach=Don't reach=Don't borrow=Don't break=Don't fence=Don't steal=Don't pass=Don't press=DON'T TRY AND FEEL=Don't touch=Don't dive=Don't suffer=Don't rhyme=Don't fantasize=Don't rise=DON'T LIE==="
I FEEL NUMB!!!!!!!
Too much is not enough!!!!!
I want more = I need more = I gotta have more!!!!
I FEEL NUMB!!!!!!!
the INSANITY of reality
the SENSELESSNESS of fantasy
the MIND-NUMBING CURSE of life on a dying world
I FEEL NUMB!!!!!!!
What can we do? What can we do?

Eh! What the hell?
Like I always say: It could always be worse!
Live it up, minions! Tomorrow's another day!
After all, I am the Center of the Universe, and what I say, goes.

My Simple Solution

Greetings, Buenos Diaz, Gutten Tag, Everyone!
Entirely too many people are over-thinking this whole immigration issue. Let's face it, if an Arab corporation hadn't tried to buy a hand full of port terminals a few months back, the events of the past few weeks would never have occurred.
The boarder issue has been ignored for well over fifty years. It isn't just a today problem. Mexicans have been entering these Great United States for decades to search out a living ten-times better than any their homeland had to offer. Their government could not care less whether or not they stayed in Mexico. These poor people are viewed as the dregs of Mexico and the government down there is doing everything to point the way north, to be rid of them, instead of trying to find ways to take care of the Mexican people. That is where we, the Great United States, comes in.
As the Center of the Universe, I have a simple solution to this whole affair.
The Great United States government needs to open its collective arms to these new Americans, people who want nothing more than to become good, law-abiding citizens. These people who are here illegal need to walk into an Immigration Office, present identification with their name, birthday, and place of birth, raise their right hand, and repeat after me:
"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the Great United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all!"
Upon taking this solemn oath, the new American citizen will then be issued a social security number, specially coded to signify his or her immigration status. They will not be allowed to vote or run for elected office, and must remain felony-free, for two years, as a probationary period. Then, within two years, these persons need to complete the United States Nationalization Course (which should not be longer than a single day long), displaying a knowledge of our laws, our language, and our history. At this point they will become full citizens with all the rights given by the Constitution of these Great United States.
No paying of back taxes. No lengthy waiting periods. Get it over and done with so everyone can live quiet, productive, American lives.
Not a bad solution, if I do say so myself. Too bad none of the members of Congress would ever go for it. There's nothing in it for them. It's too simple. It's common sense, and there isn't a full dollar's worth of common sense among the Senators and Representatives collectively.
They still get their powers from We The People, right? Thought so. I wonder if they remember that.
I'll leave this monoblogue for your digestion. Let me hear back from any and all of you out there in the Universe. I may take this Simple Solution of mine up the line.
Good Evening, Buenos Noches, Gutte Nacht!