Mello Yello Fellos

Hello there, Minions! My monoblogue for this evening is going to upset some of you puritanical parents out there. But that's part of my job as the Center of the Universe, you know, to stir the pot from time to time.
Today in these Great United States we have a budding problem with our youth, primarily those in the middle and high school grades. For some reason those youths who feel wronged by their classmates or faculty have decided that "Grand Standing" violence is the way to right these wrongs. Teens are banding together, gathering weapons, out-lining their plans, then carrying out their assaults upon their unarmed prey within our public schools. The audacity of these attacks are incomprehensible to those of us who grew up with fist-fights as an honorable means of settling our school-yard problems with others. Today's youth has no honor, just pure violence, and there are dozens of sources that feed them.
We can blame violent TV and movies, videos games and songs, but I think the true source of all of this teen-crap is very simply our national anti-drug campaign. Now, before all of you veg-out, give me a chance to make a few points.
Back in the '60's and '70's and '80's, we had "Monty Python's Flying Circus", "Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention", "Saturday Night Live"(the original cast), "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" novels, "The Dr. Demento Radio Show", "Cheech and Chong", among other insanity to absorb that was anti-parent.
And we had Marijuana!
We had fun and relaxed. We took care of our confrontations with fists, rocks, sticks, etc. Permanent harm was not the point. We wanted to send a message but keep adults out of our business. Very few ran home to Mommy, let alone the Cops, after a fight. It just wasn't done.
Mary Jane was abundant and soothing. The teens of the Seventies and Eighties that had issues with others were apt to be the ones who turned to the Ganja for relief from their daily troubles. And if anything, Hemp will mello a fello out! And a mello fello is not a violent fello.
Since the First Lady of the Eighties said "Just Say No!" to the youth of these Great United States, the school violence has been on the rise. Kids have turned away from the Roach-clip and turned to the ammo-clip. Kids that would have gathered in a basement for a "Trip Down Mary Jane Lane" are now plotting together assaults that the U.S. Rangers and S.W.A.T. teams would emulate. Ridoline is not the answer, since it is legal and adult prescribed. Marijuana on the other hand gives the kids that sense of power over their parents and faculty that they otherwise would grab a gun for.
I have never been an active user of the Weed, but I do know some that have been and still are. These examples plainly back up my theory. They are mello fellos, indeed. Maybe, just maybe, if a little less pressure was put upon the youth of today to live up to impossible standards, and a little relaxation of the Marijuana laws was allowed, then our country would begin to see a decline in school violence. Besides, Marijuana is the least of our national worries in this day and age, don't you think?
Of course, we could always place a couple S.W.A.T. guys within every school to blow away any and all kids that think gunslinging is the answer to bullying. A teen in a trench coat walks into a lunch room, pulls out a shotgun and blows away the girl that laughed at his request for a date. Two HK9's open up and cut the boy to ribbons. Problem solved. Let's just get hard with these little punks. Kick them out of public school for ever, for the safety of others. A week in juvenile hall for every bullying offence. Adult jail time for any that bring weapons to school, period. Adult jail time for conspiracy to commit mass murder within a school, with a minimum of twenty-five years. No juvenile detention. No home detention. No parole. Just get the punks off of the streets and into the trash-bin of society.
Either way, kids who venture down either road have already become all but worthless to the greater good of humanity. I'd rather them doped up and chowing down on chips and salsa than running down the halls of our schools shooting other kids they feel wronged them. How smart can they be if they advertise their plans on MySpace anyway? They think they are so smart and untouchable, able to get away with anything because they are just kids. Think again, twirps! Live by the gun; die by the gun.
My friends, guns only kill when in the hands of killers. Lock them up if you have them, especially if your kid is stepping down that road to destruction. Be responsible and be a part of your kid's life.
Take care, America.

American Voyeur

Hey, Ya'all! How ya'all doin'? Got a question for ya. What is the widest spread disease in all of the Great United States? Voyuerism!
We, the People of the Great United States, all share in this great vice, to one degree or another. We are all Voyuers, my minions. From the Pastors and Politicians, to the Workers and welfare Riders. The men, women, and children of America are all infected with Voyuerism!
Yes, my devotees, as I sit here in the Great Green Recliner, sipping a cool glass of O'Hara's Irish Red, watching Life, the Universe, and Everyone, I spy all of you watching each other! We all are infected with wide varieties of Voyuerism, infesting our very souls with a hunger for visual stimuli ranging all across the spectrum. Sports, fireworks, disasters of all kinds, competition, sex, artistic displays, accidents. Anything that can be shown to us, we desire to see. We thrive on watching others do what we only dream of doing, cannot do, or simply refuse to attempt.
More people in America watch sporting events than participate in them. We fill stadiums and cheer on the select Gladiators who do battle for our enjoyment week-in and week-out. Controlled, ruled violence, injury, and even death in the Arena are what we secretly crave to satisfy our lust for visual evidence of our collective mortality. We leave the Arena satisfied, and yet with a hunger to return.
The world of sex in every way, shape, and form can be found within the web of the internet. Porn is by far and away the largest block of voyeuristic information on the 'net and is growing larger every day. Viewing the act of sexual congress between our fellow humans ignites the flame of lust within our own souls. We cannot turn away when we stumble upon others engaged in fornication. Many cannot or will not act, through shame, shyness, or other factors, and watching has become the greatest means to release for oh so many. Seeking out the sight of sexual contact drives many to depravity. The very sight of sex acts has replaced the imagination of the lustful mind in today's world. Without these views, there can be no release for many. Visual stimulation has become a greater need that physical stimulation. The sight of naked flesh writhing in passion enflames us all.
Who out there has ignored the scene of a crash as they drive on by? None, I say. All of you have gauked at the destruction at the side of the roads and highways of our land. We absorb the sight as sponges absorb liquid, then tell the story of what we saw to those that didn't. We gravitate to burning structures and stare in hypnotic trances at the spectacle. We balance on the edge of our seats as high-speed police chases hold our attention for hours on end in antisipation of the climactic capture. We place ourselves into the paths of Mother Nature's destruction to witness first-hand Her awesome powers. We watch the news to see what happened elsewhere, what disaster has befallen others who witnessed first-hand. Not wanting to miss out on anything is this appetite we have.
To see it is to be a part of it.
To witness is to become.
Television is our window to the world. The internet has become our microscope. They both babysit and teach our children, entertain and amuse us all. Movie theatres have long been our "date sights". We sit with our lovers in quiet Voyuerism as another world full of life unfolds before us, one not of our making. Strip clubs and Cabarets are some of the most profitable of all adult entertainments.
It is an undeniable, unquenchable, addictive disease that will in the long run bring down the fabric of these Great United States. We will suffer for giving up the written word, the imagination of mind, the physical effort of doing. Eventually, there will be too few doing and too many watching for this life of ours to continue. Voyuerism will have peaked, and then wither and die, taking us with it.
Combat this disease, America! Turn off the TV and internet. Stay home and read a book. Listen to the music instead of watching the blatant videos. Play outside with your children. Become a do-er instead of a watcher for a day and explore your life. Let us all keep the infection of Voyuerism in check. Only you can prevent Voyuerism from destroying us all!
Live well and prosper, my disciples!
From the Center of the Universe, I am the Center of the Universe!
Good night!

Terra vs. the Humans

==Warning! Warning!==
Earth is out to destroy us!
Yes, my companions, this great big blue-green marble we call home is out to get rid of us all. Global warming, ice storms, hurricanes, tornadoes, wild fires, earthquakes, mud slides, cave-ins, volcanoes, heat waves, tsunami's, cyclones, flooding, plagues, animal attacks, blizzards, tidal waves, lightning, aaaaarrrgh! Let me off this insane ride!
There is absolutely no place on this Earth that natural disasters in one form or another cannot get to you, me, everyone. Every day people are killed by this Earth in "Natural Disasters" or by nature itself. Acts of God, my ass! This is Earth Herself killing us off!
Think of the Earth, Terra, as a great living thing. Most of the Enviro-Nazis do. And like most living organisms, it too has a defense system. We humans, as well as all mammals, have white blood cells that attack viruses within our bodies. Our immune systems protect us somewhat from death-by-germ. We've evolved that way, you know. Now think of Mother Earth as having a similar immune system, one that is killing us "parasites" off in small batches to protect its greater self. These "attacks" on humanity are nothing short of the Earth's own protective system! Terra Herself is trying to limit our "diseased" spread!
When looked at in this fashion, one can only sympathize with our Host-World. She is only trying to stay alive in this cruel, dangerous Universe. If that means ridding Herself of a few nuisance, parasitical, all-consuming bugs such as us humans, then so be it. We will learn to live with it, adapt and over-come, and all that jazz.
We humans can create spheres of protection and continue living for millennium on this Earth. She will never fully be rid of us, nor we of Her. We will move inland as the seas rise, creating newer, brighter, greater coastal cities. We will watch as San Francisco Bay gulps up the surrounding metropolis' under a quake of godly might, then rebuild a friendlier, conservative haven. Wild fires will torch our farmlands and forests, but they will grow back in time, and we'll eat canned stuff until then. Blizzards will bury us, but we will stay warm and comfy beneath our thickly insulated roofs, while watching satellite TV. Too hot, and we'll crank up the AC! Flooding rivers and lakes will only cause us to build great cities of floating buildings. We will see every natural disaster before us as a chance to create an even better world for us all out of the ashes. We will rise to the task and bask in the satisfaction of being the "Masters of our Domain!" We shall stand triumphant upon the mountains and fear no storm!
There is nothing we collectively can do to Terra that She cannot overcome, Herself. We use Her resources for our collective growth, and give back with our lives. We eat Terra's food, then become food for Her upon our demise. Give and take, take and give. A cycle of life we all must follow. We have no choice in the matter, really. That's just the way it has been, is, and always will be.
Period.
That is how I see things from my Great Green Recliner, as the Center of the Universe.
Now, back to my thick, American-beef steak, buttered smashed potatoes, and tall glass of Smithwick's Irish Ale. Live well and prosper, my zealots!

To Kill or Not To Kill

Welcome, Devotees!
As I sit here in the comfortable Great Green Recliner, I watch many forms of Death and Destruction. Unfortunately, Man-Killing-Man is a prominent form of death on our world.
There are many reasons to kill another human, but all fall into one of five basic categories: 1) In Self defense or defense of Others, 2) Accidentally, 3) In Declared Combat, 4) For the Protection of the Community, or 5) The Murder of Another. In the first four, the person doing the killing is innocent of a crime. In the fifth case, Murder, the killer is guilty and subject to the punishments of the community's law.
When a person finds that the only way to deal with a problem is to kill another person, without constraint of law, that person is a Murderer, plain and simple. I disregard any watering down of this, as lawyers are apt to, by using "Manslaughter" or various degrees of Murder, to charge an individual. Murder is Murder. Killing is Killing. If you take a life needlessly, yours should be forfeit, without exception. No time spent on "Death Row", watching cable TV all day at the tax-payer's expense. I'll give you one appeal, then six months to get your affairs in order. Then, on the one-year anniversary of your conviction, you are put to death. Done and over with. No more burden on the tax payers for your sins.
Killing is a powerful thing. You take away all that a person is, and all that they may become. In some cases, you can end an entire family blood-line in the act. This is why God took the act of Murder so seriously as to include it in the Ten Commandments.
As a parent, I can guarantee that if I have to kill to protect my kids, I will. I won't even think about it. I will kill the son-of-a-bitch! No if's, and's, or but's about it. The greatest gift you can give your children is the gift of absolute protection while they are the most vulnerable.
Recently I had a conversation with a mother who defined herself as a pacifist. She defiantly explained to me that there was never a justification for killing another human, no matter what that person had done. I turned the tables on her with this. I told her I'll give her a gun, then put another to her son's head. I told her in three seconds I am going to kill him if she didn't kill me first. I counted one, two, three, and then went "BANG!". I told her her son was now dead and it was her fault. She would have to live with that the rest of her life. She said to me that if it was God's will, then so be it. I replied that God's will was for her to have a gun in her hand at that moment and to defend her child's life. His life was not her's to decide. What she would have done, letting her son die, was selfish beyond all reason or belief. I told her to her face that she was a worthless parent, unfit to have children. If you would not kill to protect your children then you should not be allowed to have children. God has a very special place reserved in Hell for people that kill children, or by their inactions allow a child to be harmed or killed. I know they will all burn in Hell for all eternity, the Shits!
I have killed. I have fought in combat and killed the enemy, as defined by my government. This is an acceptable form of killing, both lawfully and Biblically. I have no problem living with this. I would have no problem living with killing while defending myself, my family, or others in need. Nor should any of you. The courage to kill in defense of others has to be admired. Not many can admit they would, or could, pull the trigger if the time came. They just have to act decisively if the moment was ever upon them, or someone they love will die.
Today's world is full of fictional depictions of death and killing that have made us numb to the fragility of our mortality. The 24-hour news of death and destruction adds to this unfeeling we have towards our own deaths. We accept it as a way of life on this turbulent world with such indifference that depictions of sex are dirtier than murder! Where are we that the act of physical love-making between adults is taboo, and the act of physical slaughter of others passe? God would rather us be making love, I'm sure!
And so another monoblogue has run its course, my minions. I hope I have stirred your little gray cells into action once again.
Fare well!

Got Easter?

It is that time of year, my fellows, that all good Christians "celebrate" Easter. Although to celebrate the execution of one's eternal savior seems to contrast greatly with the event itself, does it not? But celebrate we should!
At this time of year, in the two weeks or so that lead up to the weekend itself, Hollywood rolls out its library of epics, or remakes them with a modern cast, and fills our TV screens with them. All in an attempt to make the Christian community forget that the majority of these films are in fact made by, and starred, members of the Jewish faith. Could this be a form of penance? Who knows?
Additionally, the History, Learning, Discovery, National Geographic Channels all are running their own libraries of documentaries, films, and interpretations of this Christian Holiday, as well as most everything else they can dig up regarding the Bible, its history, and so on. It is all very fascinating, some of it interresting, but with the weekend upon us, it has become overwhelming.
And now there are, of course, groups out there pushing for the Government to stop even recognizing the holiday. Once again, a gross twisting out of shape of the First Amendment by dumbass liberals who preach diversity, but don't want to recognized it within us all. I often wonder how men like the Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton can claim to be Democrats and Liberals and yet preach religious conservatism? Isn't their very existence against the First Amendment, as the Liberals define it?
But I digress.
This holiday should in fact be a celebration! We should all rejoice in the LIFE of Jesus, and that sacrifice he made. Churches should be singing out loudly with songs of joy and happiness! Parties should be thrown in His honor. Barbecues held, beer drank, sports played! After all, He was a great man and needs to be CHEERED, not mourned. Why should anyone feel sadness on this holiday? He would want everyone to be joyful for our own lives, and the lives of others. Jesus was a great man, a great leader, and a great orator. However you choose to worship, Jesus should be praised for who He was, and what He did in a very trying time. Respect the Man and his Deeds, for they are what today's America were founded on.
You do not have to be Christian to recognize and celebrate Easter. You do not have to be Jewish to recognize and celebrate Hanukkah. You do not have to be Muslim to recognize and celebrate Ramadan. You do not have to be anything to recognize, celebrate, and RESPECT other's traditions and holidays.
Respect is what all of you dumbasses in America had better start giving before you even think to demand it. You don't earn respect by demanding everyone else ignore their own faith and stop celebrating their own holidays and displaying their own culture just to be "Politically Correct". Hell, "Political Correctness" is DISRESPECT in the very purest form! And Jesus sure as hell was not a "Politally Correct" leader! The man had balls! And it takes balls to be a great leader. Remember that, people!
This has been the Center of the Universe.
Opinionated and arrogant, as usual.

Written Word Woes

Friends! Disciples! Minions! Lend me your Eyes!
With tonight's monoblogue I want to point out a few things very important to this new medium. To start, the written word should be treated as almost a sacred entity. It is, after all, the record by which we have learned of the past, and how the future shall learn of us. The written word is the accepted form of manual/visual communication the world over. The written word is at times the most powerful tool mankind has. The written word is law in man's world.
unfortunately, today we have to deal with a new generation that disregards the order of the written word and short-hand's just about everything. It's bad enough that the art of cursive hand writing is all but gone. If it wasn't for the need to "sign" your name on legal documents, cursive would be as extinct as the Pterosaur.
And now we have to deal with the almighty, all-controlling keyboard. Children today know how to type their names long before they learn to write them. I know first hand. In this easier-and-easier world we've made, the keyboard is a whole lot easier to master than hand writing for a three-year-old.
Teens now-a-days have created their own short-hand for "instant messaging" and "e-mailing" and "text-messaging". Creative, you could say, but haven't secretaries been doing this for hundreds of years? I guess kids today think they invented short-hand! Yeah, right, kids. Wrong again! Jessica didn't write "These Boots..." either.
A few weeks ago, as an example, my step-daughter got into trouble at school. Once home, I demanded she write out her point of view of the incident. When it was done, I was disgusted to see that there was little to no punctuation, numbers inserted to replace words, intentionally misspelled words, no sentence or paragraph structure, and a whole lot of slang. I was pissed and had her rewrite the whole thing, using correct form. She was mad as hell, but managed to pull it off. It only took her about three times as long, though.
My point here is that kids, teens thru the twenty-something-or-another's, don't seem to know when to turn off the B-S shorthand/AIM/Text crap and turn on the proper written word. Does this go to show the lack of intelligence of this young generation or the lack of respect they seem intent on displaying at all times?
I fear that eventually the properly written word will begin to fade away. And when it does, future generations may not have a "hard-copy" record of us. Our existence would vanish as quickly as somebody deletes our information, or turns off the electricity. It is IMPOSSIBLE to do anything on this planet any more without electricity...except write with a pen onto paper. Try it sometime. A lot of you may have to practice to get the hang of it. And I'll bet not a one of you over-25-year-olds out there could write every letter of the alphabet, in cursive, both capitol and lower case. Go ahead, I know you'll mess it up!
I know I am right, because I am the Center of the Universe!
It's what I (don't) get paid for!
Good night, Earth.

The Sky May Be Falling

Ahoy there, me hearties!
Have you ever wondered about the End of the World? I'm not talking about in the Biblical sense, but the scientific. There have been countless movies and television programs over the years, and before that books and papers written, about some cataclysmic disaster not of man's creation destroying most of humanity in a single fell blow. You've all seen them, heard about them, or read about them. Asteroids, comets, meteors, what-have-you, slamming into the Earth and wiping us all back into the stone ages. Great sci-fi, but what about the reality of it?
I have often put this question to my friends and co-workers: If the world was about to come to an end, would the scientists and government tell us, and would you want to know anyway?
I often get a mix of reactions. Many believe at first that the government would have to tell us. I point out that if in fact the world only had weeks, or days, left before certain destruction, and nothing could been done to avert it, the government would NEVER tell the news. If they let it out, the civilization of mankind would self-destruct long before the clock counted down. Why would anyone go to work? Why pay for anything? Why not rape and murder? There will be no human consequences for any evil done by those predisposed to do it. Mass suicides would dot the world. Death and destruction would reign long before the event ever happened. No, I contest that the scientists and governments would never let the information about impending doom out to the general population of man.
Now, would you even want to know? I am unsure myself. If I was still single without anyone depending on me, I'd say yes. I'd want to be able to get that last little bit in before the clock struck twelve. But as a father, now I don't think I'd want to. 'Nuf said.
So, the whole point of this exercise is to once again remind you out there in the galaxy that you never know when The End will happen. Live for today, I say. Try to enjoy life as it comes and don't spend so much of your energies worrying about the little things, or the things you cannot possibly ever control. Sol could go super-nova on us tomorrow, blasting us all into atomic waste. We only know what the scientists tell us, right? Remember that asteroid that passed between Earth and Luna just a few years back? When did anyone say anything? After it had missed us, that's when! See what I mean?
Now that I've managed to "stir the pot" a little, I'll let you be.
I am the Center of the Universe, live and uncensored.
So long!

The Lion's Roar

Greetings!
As the Center of the Universe, I have to admit that I am rather prideful in my innate abilities. This stems in part from my being born under the sign of a true leader and warrior: LEO, the LION.
As a Leo, I view the majority of civilized man beneath me at, in one way or the other. I do not mean that I look down upon others, I just find that I am so much more superior in so many ways, it's hard not to at times. In fact, I recognize a mere 12% of mankind as being anything close to my equal, and they are of course other Leos.
In my daily life I feel a sense of leadership over those around me, and they tend to look to me for instruction and guidance. I am willing to provide it, though I don't necessarily seek it all the time. Sometimes I get frustrated that others cannot do a task as easily or as well as I can, or learn quickly enough, and I begin to growl, snarl, and even roar. It takes an awful lot to get us Leos going, but once we're off, watch out! We do not take prisoners!
Leos are strong, intelligent, emotional souls that powerfully rule themselves and those around them, always towards a greater good of family and community as defined by the common-sense of leadership. We Leos don't put up with bull-s==t. Stupidity is not tolerated when it puts the safety of those of the Pride at risk. Drastic, permanent measures will be taken to prevent upheaval within the ranks.
We Leos also are very competitive. We strive not only to out-do everyone around us, but to be so much better at what we do and out-shine everyone else that they bow down and respect us for it! It is not our place merely to be the Kings of the Jungle, but to have everyone else want us to be their Kings! That is how we Leos view ourselves. As strong, yet compassionate Kings of the Wild, Wild, Universe! Worshipped and Loved by our family, our pride, and our nation.
Through a bit of research I have discovered that all previous "Centers of the Universe" prior to my appointment were also Leos. I found this fact interesting, but not surprising. We Leos are the intrinsic choices for this position after all. Our views on the Universe around us are the only views that matter in the end, don't you know. Our stature as the leaders of "Humanity-Galactic" has been and forever will be recognized by all others as the view from Nobility Itself. I trust you accept this as fact, minions, and leave it at that.
As I skim along the blogosphere I occasionally become interested in an author and his or her views. Their opinions and mine may not parallel, but I find them exciting and fascinating nonetheless, and must learn more about this new personality. And what do you think I discover when I check out the writer's profile? I have found that the most interesting people on the 'net blogging are LEOS! Yes, my disciples, it would seem that only we Leos have anything worthwhile to say, for the most part! Now, there are those rare exceptions to this rule, of course. But by and far Leos out-think, out-write, and out-witicize any of the other, lesser signs by a factor of twelve to one! Rather embarrassing, isn't it?
Now, I don't want any of you other "signs" out there on the web to get discouraged or stop contributing to the world around you just because of your lesser roles in the greater scheme of all things galactic. We Leos will always need you, if only for cannon-fodder, and the occasional sympathetic laugh. Court Jesters always make me smile!
Well, my pride, that will do it for this monoblogue.
This has been the Center of the Universe.
Good Day!

You Are All Racists!

All right! I'm pissed again, Lackeys! Listen up!
From my seat here at the Center of the Universe, I can see very clearly that the Great United States of America is now, and forever will be, inhabited by racists. I am sorry to say that every last one of you sorry sons-of-bitches reading this, and every last one of the rest of the people living on the face of Earth, are racists.
EVERY ONE OF YOU!
And if you think that you aren't a racist, and insist that you are so liberal minded that you could never possibly be a racist, you are therefore one of the most racist. Let me explain.
When you go about your daily business, you see White policemen, Black newswomen, Asian students, Hispanic day-laborers, whatever. Colors. Walking crayons in everyone's eyes. Racist eyes.
Every person that recognizes and celebrates the "Black History Month" of February each year, is a racist. If you attend any function dedicated to diversity in any way, shape, or form, you are a racist. If you refer to individuals as "African-American quarterbacks" or "Asian martial arts actors" or "Hispanic pop singers", you are a racist. If you have ever went into an area you called a "black" part of town, you are a racist. If you ever hesitated to get off an interstate because the town was "too white", you are a racist. If you use any form of racial slur, regardless of your skin color, you are a racist. If you ever tried to "get out the black vote", you are a racist. If you ever played the race card to get your way in court, you are a racist. If you ever got into a job through affirmative action, you are a racist. If you have ever been referred to as the "white" version of a "black" man, you are a racist. If you have ever been referred to as the "black" version of a "white" woman, you are a racist. If you ever used a color to describe any person on this planet at any time in your life, YOU ARE A FUCKING RACIST!!!
Do I make myself clear? Do I have to come and personally slap each and every one of you dumbass Liberal AND Conservative dweebs out there that just don't get it! I for one think that any elected official that pulls the bull-shit race card stunt needs to be removed from office immediately for inciting racial violence. There is no room in America today for that crap.
Maybe it's time you looked around and realized one thing. Until you shit-for-brains stop using the crayon box to draw your racial maps of America with, this country will continue to be racially divided. Everyone in America is a RACIST in one form or another, one way or another, to one degree or another. It is a natural way of identification. Live with it and move on. It's time we started living together as separate but EQUAL RACES of AMERICANS! Maybe then we will start to live free together, work together, and help each other without bigotry interfering.
If you can admit you are a racist, you will be happier. If you can admit you are a racist to someone not of your race, you will live a happier life. Try it.
I am the Center of the Universe.
Trust me. I'm right.

The Greek God of Damn-it!

Greetings, minions and disciples, one and all! As the Center of the Universe, I am by definition known to all that are known, and if I don't know you, or of you, then you do not exist. One of the exalted I have come to know from the Great Green Recliner is the man known as the Greek God of Damn-it!
Although his powers are limited to merely adding that vital exclamation point of disgust whenever something goes awry, his reach is universal. This god's roots are deep in the rocky soil of ancient Greece herself, and have touched the great minds of Aristotle and Plato in their moments of angst. Einstein and Newton have known his touch when faced with dead-ends at the chalk board. Patton and Rommell each shouted his epithet over the roar of tanks engaged in battle. As has McEnroe and Waltrip, in their respective sports, when things didn't go their way.
Men the world over, through-out time, have shouted the Greek God of Damn-it's curse, in whatever language they tongue, when the need has arose. Many a righteous man has condemned those who speak his word, although they themselves have known it on their own tongues. The exclamation has been around longer than the recorded language of man itself. When the first Neanderthal stepped from his cave and was promptly run down by a passing mastodon, the guttural cry was smashed from his lungs in a single blast of resignation. We've all been there in one form or another since, haven't we my minions?
Even today, whether the news is good or bad, someone shouts a hardy "Damn-it!". No matter what, someone somewhere looses, and this exclaimed vocalization is their first means of expressing their grief. And if it wasn't for the Greek God of Damn-it, none of us would have this convenient tool at our disposal, day-in and day-out, to relieve or stress in the safest manner possible.
This Greek God of Damn-it and I have partaken of the finest feasts of fowl over the years, particularly of the Buffaloed variety, accompanied by a variety of others of our meager level of existence. These feasts usually degenerate into a kind of weekly jabber-fest where nearly every rule of etiquette for public correctness gets humiliated, violated, sodomized, and devastated. And this is without a single beer in sight! Then again, I am the Center of the Universe, and with me in attendance who would dare challenge our right to dine in sauce-splashing bravado?
The Greek God of Damn-it is The Edge to my Bono, some have said. He is a quiet, stead-fast, workaholic to my outlandish, outspoken, fool-hardiness.
So, my friends, the next time you find these simple words released from your lips, give a silent word of thanks to the Greek God of Damn-it for his contribution to our Universe.
I am the Center of the Universe.
Have a great day!

Back to Work

Happy April Fool's Day, My Minions! Today marks to end of the first week back to work for me, and let me tell you, I am one tired puppy! Maybe I'm getting too old for this! It was great to get back to work and I was warmly welcomed. It was good to see everyone and meet the new employees. I was all but treated as the company "savior"!
Word of my antics in the workplace had preceded my return and they had been duly warned, but I think I may have still caught a few of them off guard with my opinions on such wide ranging topics. I fear I may have offended one or two of them, also, but in my Universe, if you are easily offended then maybe you should go hide in your basement. The world is afterall a rather offensive place however you look at it.
Getting back into the groove of my job took less time than I had anticipated. After exactly 100 days away from the job, I was back to my old self by first break that Monday! That's less that four hours!
This week, we had a major run of machines to build, for a foreign blood bank, and had a lot of additional personnel in the department. My return was indeed timely as it was and we hit our target, barely. We managed to only blow one up! Not bad. I want to thank everyone for their help.
Another, wonderful, thing happened this week. I regained contact with a very special person in my life. It had been nearly three years since I had lost touch with a dear ex-girl friend of mine, but I never stopped wondering about her. I took a chance and sent off a snail-mail and a few days later she e-mailed me back! That made me happier than I'd been in months! A special thank you goes out to Dene!
Now that I am back to work, I don't get to listen to all the radio I had been, or read as much internet blogs, to gather commentary, so my own blogs may start to slack off for the time being. I also want to try and lighten things up a little more and get off the political commentary. America has entirely too much of that crap the way it is, right? I cannot believe I got sucked into that mess.
So, until next time my minions, I've got a beer waiting. Time to kick up the foot rest on the Great Green Recliner and enjoy the view from the Center of the Universe! Bye, for now!