Nose-Pickers Unite!

Salutations, my Cosmic Comrades! I trust all is well with you throughout our lovely and exciting Universe this beautiful day. This dialog concerns a little problem that we all once again face. As before with the flatulence issue, all of us have an issue at the other end of our feeble bodies that require attention every day. I am talking of no less an embarrassment as the BOOGER! Yes, my dear Galactic souls, that nauseating nuisance that often requires manual removal. That thing that so many school yard jokes are made. That undesired visitor that pops out when least wanted, at the most inconvenient time, to deliver the maximum embarrassment to the face from which it hangs.
Before I continue, let us first get to the scientific nature of said booger. For this, I turn to the ever handy encyclopedia Universalis, ever ready at my right hand here at the great recliner at the Center of the Universe. It tells us that boogers (in humans) consist of mucus. Mucus is the thin, sticky, slimy stuff up in your sinus cavities that traps dirt, dust, germs, and pollen that is breathed in through the nose. Your sinuses make about a cupful of mucus every 24 hours, the majority of which is drained through the back of the throat. This mucus traps the foreign particles and with the help of the tiny cilia hairs within the nose cavity, move the gathered debrie out. A large clump of this is, of course, a booger.
Now, let us continue to examine the daily suffering this necessity of life causes, shall we? Although we all do it, some of us are more discrete than others. We have all seen those who drive along, oblivious to the fact that automobiles are full of glass windows, picking away up to their second knuckle, while singing to the latest one-hit-hip-hop-wonder-boy song. Yo' not so cool, all laid back in that pimped ride, with yo' off-color ball cap crook'd on yo' bean, and a digit up yo' nostril, cuz! Yo' digg'n fo' bling, or wha?
Okay, back to reality. We all get them, and we all have to get rid of them. You see co-workers digging away on the line and hope they don't leave the a present for you on the next tool. In offices, you see that stray little clump on a control panel for the copier and wonder how it got there, who's it is, and should you call CSI? In the bathroom, well, need I even mention the walls and what gets left behind there? Yeck!
As parents, we often have to get rid of them for the little ones, also. There just is nothing like a toddler running up to you with a long trail of gooey snot trailing from his nose to his pacifier, yelling that his nose is running. Duh, like I can see that! Of course, then they bury their little faces in your thigh, wiping away the evidence, and off they go on their merry, care-free way, while you are left with a snail-trail on your jeans. Anyone out there been there? And how about that child that wakes in the middle of the night screaming. You find out it is due to boogers in their nose and they want them out, NOW! So you spend the next half hour picking their nostrils with q-tips, sucking snot with the bulb, then presto! They drop off to sleep instantly, and you can not.
My friends, the booger is here to stay, I am sad to inform you. I do not see the Government spending any money (your taxes that is) on this problem. I do not see Phiser or Lilly going for the gold, so to speak. No, it is all up to you to keep those nostrils clean.
Good bye, and Good Luck.