Welcome to the Center of the Universe

Good evening, my minions! Those of you who have never been graced by my presence, nor had my acknowledgement of your existance, I now introduce myself: I am the Center of the Universe. Plain and simple. You can disagree all you want, but by that simple act, you have validated my position. I did not appoint myself to this estemed place, nor was I actively recruited by the All-Mighty, or His Colleagues. It just sort of happened one afternoon at work. I came to the realization that this entire Universe revolved around Me, and no one else. Talk about an epiphany! It was rather startling at the time, but now I have grown to accept this new place I find myself in Life, the Universe, and, well, Everything!

Now, I do not want you out there to get the wrong impression of me, nor my claim to being The Center of the Universe. I am not at all conceited, nor do I lay claim to being any God, or god, in any way, shape, or form. Quite the contrary. I am but a meer mortal, one of flesh, blood, mind, and soul. I have just been given an assignment, a place where the entirity of you have to revolve your own lives around. Unfortunatly, until I have acknowledged your individual existances, you do not exist! Not in My Universe at any rate.

So, until we meet in one place or another, or in one form or another, I bid you all good fortunes and good lives.