My Triumphant Return!

Greetings, My Minions! I trust you have fared well in my absence? Before I offer my opinionated view from the great red leather recliner at the Center of the Universe of what has been happening around us in my absence, I feel I must offer an explanation for my absence.

Back towards the end of the year, I had an accident that resulted in a concussion. After a long period of diagnosis following the wrong path, it was determined that this episode was the result of a seizure that caused me to drop and slam my head to the floor. Since, I have had numerous periods of lost time and I've passed out at least three times. I have had to leave my work and have been all but confined to my home, thus becoming, in my words, worthless. Of course, nobody seems to agree with me. My friends and co-workers have sent well-wishes, and some have even come to visit. Evidently I'm missed at work. I wish I was there instead of pacing back and forth through my house, or doing dishes. For the past three months or so I've labored around the house, trying to stay busy with housework. I have read nearly a dozen books. I listen to Bob and Tom for laughs, Rush and Sean for politics, Jim and JMV for sports. I watch the History Channel to learn history, duh.

But I have neglected my job as The Center of the Universe.

The All Mighty has had others take this role in my absence, I'm sure. That dumbass running Iran, for instance, seems to think he's the center of the universe, although I don't think so. And although Rush, Hillary, Ted, et.al. think they have the right to the title, I'm sorry but they are not it. I am. I was given this position and I plan to stand up and fulfill my God given duty to tell it as I see it and let you all know how I feel about it. And there just isn't anything anyone out there can do about it.

If you don't like it, pray to God and ask Him to replace me.

Until then, suck it up and get used to it!

I'm the Center of the Universe, and I'm back!

Over the next few weeks I will be giving my views on a wide variety of subjects, from teen-agers and how we might better control them, to the southern boarder of the great United States and what to do about the un-declared war going on there. I will also touch on Lucky Charms, Tony the Tiger, Spongebob and their pals verses parents who can't say no; which will be more important four years from now: nukes in the hands of Iran or shotguns in the hands of VP's; and the great debate about who's side God on anyway?

So until my next installment, my fellows, I bid you farewell.